Wedding Woes

Need Help!

So my FI just called me and apparently someone in his family is bad-mouthing us saying that the only reason we invited her to the wedding is to get a gift. In all honesty, we invited her because his grandmother asked us to and thought it would be nice for her to be there if she could. She already sent us a check and his mom called and wants us to send the check back with a note saying that we aren't accepting gifts, which is a lie. I don't want her money since she thinks it an obligation to give it to us. What do I do? I don't want to be rude, but I don't want that check either....I have more respect for myself than that.

Re: Need Help!

  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Why would she think that you were inviting her just for the money?

    Do you have a cash registry? Did you put something that says "cash only" in the invites to the wedding or shower?


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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't send it back, nor would I lie about not accepting gifts. I also don't think mentioning that it was a small check helps your case here. Send a nice thank you note and go about your life. Some people just like to gossip, and when they have nothing to gossip about they make sh1t up.
  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't send it back.  If you are completely innocent of what she is accusing then sending it back will only start a new round of gossip from somebody like her. She will say her money wasn't good enough (or large enough amount).  With some people there will always be something.
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    who is telling you this gossip?
    because...well, it's gossip.  "I heard from Mary Lou that Jane said that Amy said X" is a dangrous thing to play with--someone has a motive to tell you this stuff.
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    just cash the check and send a thank you card. I don't see what the big deal is. 

    did your FI hear this directly from the great aunt or from someone else? if not directly, then you might consider that someone is just trying to create drama, and just not acknowledge it. 


  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    TheDuckis: Who said it was a "small check"?  I didn't see that in the original post.

    First, if your FI didn't hear it directly from this family member, you don't know if she really feels that way or not.

    If she really does feel this way, here are my suggestions: I assume that you are registered for gifts somewhere, so if you tell her you aren't accepting gifts, she will know you are lying.  If you send it back, she could call you ungrateful, but who cares?  She is the one who will look ridiculous for first calling you gift-grabby and then calling you ungrateful when you return her gift.  Therefore, I say send it back with a thank you card.
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