Not allowed to have the cake i want??

AimeeE2013

My fiance and I are having a wedding this summer in a loft and like very modern and "different things" than our families.  We both fell in love with a dark grey cake with black ribbon and blue and purple flowers.  My parents refuse to pay for it.  My mother says it is satanic and I should respect their wishes and go with a traditional white cake even though it is not what either of us want.  The cake is very modern and beautiful!! not satanic in the least!  I dont know what to do.  My fiance and I offered to pay for the cake ourselves since it goes against their wishes but they are adamant about the cake not being anything but white and want me to just give in and give them something they want.  I am not a bridezilla and everything planned thus far has been something everyone has agreed upon other than the color scheme (dark blue, purple and grey).  I dont know what to do?  Give in and have a plain normal white cake or get the cake I love and supposedly hurt and disrespect everyone in my family.  Seriously can someone be disrespected by a cake?     Here is a link with a pic of the cake, its gorgeous!  http://pinterest.com/pin/446067538062190681/

PrincessJas

That is a beautiful cake!!  Could you maybe compromise with them by toning down the dark grey fondant to a light grey or silver (without the metallic sheen)?  Not something stark white, but not so dark?

AimeeE2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_not-allowed-to-have-the-cake-i-want?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c138d1a1-4437-42a7-b0e4-5be36336047cPost:f0564003-d43e-4340-989e-317caec9a5de">Re: Not allowed to have the cake i want??</a>:
[QUOTE]That is a beautiful cake!!  Could you maybe compromise with them by toning down the dark grey fondant to a light grey or silver (without the metallic sheen)?  Not something stark white, but not so dark?
Posted by PrincessJas[/QUOTE]

<div>Idk,  I offered to do a shade of grey instead of dark grey or black but she is pretty insistant on white.  Its worth a shot, lol maybe if i emphasise light grey, not dark.</div>

Knottie_22382102

I think a light color would work with it if you maintain a dark ribbon..perhaps add some black flowers to it.

You might want to find out how much this cake would cost before stressing out about it too much. Those flowers could be very expensive. I was in shock to find out how much the cake I was originally going for would've cost so I worked with the decorator to keep the elements we wanted and keep the cost down.... I ended up loving our cake way more.

In the end, if your parents are generous enough to pay for the wedding, and are so offended by the darkness of this cake, I think it may benefit you to find a cake that you can all mutually agree upon. The other option is to pay for the wedding yourself, but I imagine no one will be happier with that solution.

Peledreamsofrain

Could you maybe alternate layers?  Like one is grey, the other is white, the next is grey again?

6fsn

Did you just see this picture and not talk to anyone?  I agree with Muppet that this could be VERY pricey.  It could also be very hard to find someone to make it.  In other words it has a high potential to end up on cake wrecks. 

A grey wedding cake would not be my hill to die on.  It is very dark (not in a satanic way) but maybe you could lighten it up or do white with grey ribbon. 

kmmssg

I agree with everyone that you are looking at a pricey cake here.  Those flowers are handmade and take a lot of time by an accomplished person.  They don't come cheap.

Many would label me as a Conservative Christian.  I'm still trying to figure out what on Earth your parents see in this cake that relates to Satan.  They are WAY out there on this one.

Even without the flowers, I do have a comment on the current color.  While I think an awful lot of people don't eat fondant and just scrape it off, some do eat the stuff.  That darker gray fondant would color their teeth horribly!  I would be mortified to be at a wedding, eat the cake and have gray discolored teeth from it.  That really is something that needs to be considered.

Could you come back and tell us if the cake is just something you saw online or something your baker offers?  Have you priced it out?

MobKaz

There are a host of options for grey wedding cakes......

http://pinterest.com/tanjawestwood/3-grey-wedding-cake/

http://pinterest.com/nannasoozanna/wedding-cake-grey-silver-and/

My first thought was identical to that of kmmssg.  I love frosting but always pass on it when it has any color in it.  I also could not fathom how that cake could be equated with anything satanic.  I find the darker color a bit off putting in terms of looking appetizing, however.

If this is a first wedding in your family, your folks could be surprised/shocked to see how different things are now in the "wedding world". Perhaps you could go through photo galleries and find some compromise.

*Barbie*

that cake is not the least bit appetizing. 

Knottie_22381884

That cake certainly is striking. Thing is, think of your guests. That icing would stain their teeth horribly. As far as "satanic" though, I'm just not seeing it.

Knottie_22382102

 That darker gray fondant would color their teeth horribly!

This is true. Fondant is colored by gel-based pigments rather than water-based. It's very.....very... concentrated.  When it gets wet,  it can definitely color someone's mouth. I make cakes as a hobby. I made a cookie monster cake with blue gels in the frosting and everyone's mouth turned blue

AimeeE2013

Yes, I have gotten several quotes on this cake and I am not looking for an exact replica just something similar.  The flowers dont have to be exact, I just want those colors as they would match my wedding colors.  Also I'm not using fondant, the whole cake will be covered in buttercream.  And I have talked to several bakers about the bitterness and color issue of having a grey or dark cake.  I have been assured by 3 that with the right materials it will not be bitter or stain any teeth.  

Wzz

if it is important for you to please your parents, why not get the expensve gray cake yourselves and have your parents pay for the traditional cake they want you to have. it's not thisbig of a deal. it's freaking cake.

notamrs

I think your parents are being ridiculous in saying the cake is satanic, but a grey (gray?) wedding cake is extremely unappetizing to me.  Haven't you ever seen Steel Magnolias?

cbrown828

You are allowed to have the cake you want. You just need to pay for it. If your parents don't like it, they don't have to pay for it. If you're sure this is a battle you're willing to go all the way for, put your foot down there.

AimeeE2013

Thanks for all the input.  We met with our cake lady and met in the middle with a lighter gray cake with dark gray ribbon which we are paying for ourselves.  So similar style with a few changes.  Nothing against white cakes, they are beautiful just not what either of us want for our special day.