Traditional mom hissy fits

bvega89

I'm finally understanding how difficult planning a wedding really is.  I love my mother to death, but she'll driving me up the wall.

Aside from weddings being WAY expensive, my fiance and I are from different religions, him being in the miltary, and neither of us living in our hometown, I'm just getting really frustrated.  To top it off, my mom is just getting really upset with the way we want to do our wedding.  We wantedt to have an outdoor ceremony, she threw at us all the things that could go wrong and we decided to do an indoor wedding to get her off our back.  We were going to have his pastor marry us since his family is closer to church than my family, my mom threw a fit and we had to talk to his pastor to see if we could incorporate some of our church traditions without offending anyone, but she's still upset we're arent doing it at my church.  We wanted to do our wedding 3 hours from our home town, and she complained and complained until we agreed to do it in our hometown for her convenience. 

Because of some recent notices, my FI and I decided to move our wedding date from March 2013 to any available date after Oct of this year.  I talked to my mom and I expected her to understand, but nope.

I just want to get her to understand and be supportive of our marriage, but I'm afraid she'll pout on our wedding day cause she didn't get things her way.  Does anyone else deal with this situation?  Is there any advice to help this situation? 

Sorry, I just need to vent a bit. 

**O-Face**

Stop telling her things.  That will solve it all.  Tell her the time, and place and ask taht she show up.  You can't please everyone.  THAT is the first rule to wedding planning. 

*Barbie*

so you're 18? why does everything have to please your mother? If you and your FI are paying for the wedding then you should do whatevere the hell you want - listen to O-face - stop telling your mother things.

HOWEVER.... if your mother is paying for the wedding then she gets the final say in how her money is spent. If this is the case, then you just need to shut up about what you want and let her make the arrangements that suit her.

AuntFlo

Question: are you and your FI of different religions or different denominations of the same religion?

bvega89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_traditional-mom-hissy-fits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c1bca3fc-7842-4f78-a5db-bb2945614032Post:f317facd-af06-40d0-af66-83fa566915ad">Re: Traditional mom hissy fits</a>:
[QUOTE]so you're 18? why does everything have to please your mother? If you and your FI are paying for the wedding then you should do whatevere the hell you want - listen to O-face - stop telling your mother things. HOWEVER.... if your mother is paying for the wedding then she gets the final say in how her money is spent. If this is the case, then you just need to shut up about what you want and let her make the arrangements that suit her.
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

Oh yes!  I am 18!  Noooo...I'm not 18 FYI.  We both are really close to our parents and becuase we don't live in the city where our wedding will be, they are the only ones who will go out and see/talk to vendors in person.  Other people offer, but "things come up" and can't do it.  So we're stuck to using our parents. 

Because of the date change, she MAY not be helping with money.  So I'll probably take the advice and keep it hush hush...

Heffalump

So you've been making decisions in order to (by your own admission) get your mom off your back.  How's that working out for you?  What's next--she wants grandkids, so you have them, even if it's not a good time in your career/relationship/life/whatever? 

Decide, with your FI, what YOU (pl.) want to do, and stick to it.  And FTR, things can go wrong at an outdoor wedding, but it's nothing a back-up plan can't fix.  We got married outside, had a space indoors in case of bad weather, and never used it--the weather was gorgeous on our wedding day.  These aren't problems that no one has ever faced before--there are simple solutions.

ReturnOfKuus

It does appear to be a largely unaviodable wedding tradition for the mother of the bride to throw a hissy fit.