Wedding Woes

Does anyone else get discouraged?

I've been engaged for about a month and a half now, and I have yet to find a venue that thrills me and falls within my price range. My fiance and I do not get along well with my parents, and I'm not very close with my mom. They are willing to pay for some of the wedding since we can't afford it on our own, but since we don't get along I'm trying to keep the wedding as low budget as possible so I don't 'owe' them anything.

Anyway, as much as I hoped to have this beautiful fairytale wedding, I'm starting to lose hope and think we should just run away to Vegas. I feel like I should be happier and more excited, but I'm getting so discouraged and anxious about all the stress that comes with planning a wedding with all the fixings. I'm about to just settle on one of those "cookie cutter" wedding venues and be done with it. Am I the only one that is going through this? Any advice to stay motivated? I love my fiance so much and just want to be married already so I don't have to deal with all of this stress, money woes and drama.

Re: Does anyone else get discouraged?

  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All you need to get married is a marriage license and a JOP.
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  • edited December 2011
    What you need is Bride Bootcamp so here goes.  I'm going to guess you might be trying to recreate some fantasy wedding you saw on television or in a magazine.  Those weddings usually cost more than the annual budget of most third world  countries.  It's really possible to have a beautiful event without spending a lot of money.  You just need to sit quietly for a while and really think about the elements that are really important to you.  Have them and forget the rest. 

    When we decided to get married, we knew we wanted small, intimate, elegant and budget friendly.  We are having our wedding at a bed and breakfast with about 40 people.  My dress is being made for me.  This isn't really a budget issue but a way of having want I really wanted; however, the total price is still a fraction of what many women pay for their dress, and I am seriously considering selling it after the wedding.  We are only serving wine with a spiced wine punch during the cocktail hour.  Stocking a bar for cocktails is pricey.

    Every step of the planning, you will find you can spend a fortune or a small amount (invitations, venue, food, entertainment, photography).  The choice is really yours, and you can plan a beautiful wedding if you are a bit creative and refuse to buy into the wedding industry version of the fairytale wedding.  Instead write your own fairytale.  But understand as you're doing this you can't have a designer wedding dress and a a sit down dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria for 400 people. 

    One of the nicest weddings I have ever attended was the one where the bride wore what looked like a simple cotton dress with a jacket.  Only a few of us actually knew it was a slip with a bed jacket.  This wasn't a budget thing; the bride just had a weird sense of humor, but, hopefully, you see my point. 

    Dinners are very expensive, but you can have a fabulous gourmet brunch for a fraction of what an unmemorable dinner would cost.  Or consider a dessert reception with terrific pastries and a dessert wine or a wine and cheese reception.  Let your imagination run crazy for a while and then make the numbers work and have a beautiful day.  It can be done.  You will probably go a little over your budget on a few things, but you will probably be under on some other things and end up having the real wedding of your dreams, not dreams manufactured by the "wedding industry."
  • jesijo12jesijo12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can totally relate. I have been engaged for almost 2 years. 4 months after my fiance proposed he lost his job. We have had to make a LOT of changes (and still are not set on exacts) & do not have the option to have our parents pay for the wedding. I know exactly how you feel... you want to be married, want a nice wedding, nothing too expensive or over the top... and you say Vegas is a good idea or going to the JOP will do, but it won't do really. Wish I had something more helpful for you... jsut wanted to let you knwo that you're def not alone with discouragement. Smile
  • kaglade85kaglade85 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm in a similar situation, we don't have a lot of money and neither do our parents. I originally didn't want to look at wedding banquet halls because they're like everyone else's weddings, but they really are the most affordable. I realized that unless a person has a ton of money to spend on a unique wedding, then there is not much room out there for a creative venue.  There are other ways to be creative though and areas to focus more money on.  I decided not to spend a lot on invitations (bc everyone throws them out anyways), nobody remembers party favors, photos are forever,...ect.  I do get discouraged sometimes, but looking at it in the long run, I just want to get married already! And not spend an arm and a leg on one day, when we could use the money for something else.

  • Belle2BeBelle2Be member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How much do you want to pay? I know it sounds really lame, but you might want to look into Disney Escape or Memories Weddings, they total 1200-3400 and cover just about everything you'd need for an intimate beautiful wedding. It depends on your guest list of course, but it might be an option :)

    Overall, I would say sit down with your FI and figure out what is most important wedding-day-wise. Guests? Location? Food? Flowers? Photography? Do you want a large wedding? A small one? On a beach? In a church? You can have a beautiful fairytale wedding on a budget, you just have to figure out what your priorities are and go from there.
  • danzchica24danzchica24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone! I'm glad I'm not alone. Still researching venues, and I've come to the realization that the 'fairytale' wedding might not be happening on my budget, but that's ok. I'm figuring out what's important and finding creative ways to get there. Basically I'm just throwing a big party and signing some papers. I have to keep reminding myself of that :). I'm with you Kaglad85 - I just want to be married already!
  • danzchica24danzchica24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh! And Alexmom2 - you're totally right, I did need a Bride Bootcamp :) Thanks for your well thought out advice!
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