Wedding Woes
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Wedding Location issue & brother as groomsman

FI and I have a wedding location issue. I'll give you the facts of the situation and see what you think.

I am from California & he is from Maine
I live in Boston for school which is finished next March
I want to get married in Maine - there's a cathedral that I really like
FI's family is supportive of a California wedding
FI's groomsmen wouldn't be able to come to CA
My parents haven't committed to paying for the wedding although I know they will
It would be more expensive (and difficult) for us to fly to CA to plan a wedding and it would be easier to plan a wedding in Maine since it is a short 2 hour ride from Boston
Maine wedding would be cheaper

This is tough because it is literally the two opposite sides of the country. I feel like if I just give it time my parents would be fine with a Maine wedding...


My second issue is my brother. My FI hasn't officially asked groosmen yet but asked if my brother should be one. MY FI and brother aren't close just because they haven't spent much time together so I feel that making my brother an usher is good enough. FI says he's worried about my mother's opinion because she would expect him to be a groosmen. Thing is, FI would have to make one of his friends an usher to make room for my brother. My immediate family will all be involved in the wedding so I don't want to leave my brother out. If we just added my brother as a groomsmen that would make 7 which is A LOT of groomsmen. Thoughts?

Re: Wedding Location issue & brother as groomsman

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    "My parents haven't committed to paying for the wedding although I know they will" I would not count on that until you have the money. If they haven't offered, they might not (and they certainly don't have to). Also realize that money comes with strings. IF they do offer to pay, they will have some say in how their money is spent and you may have to compromise. As far as your brother, he doesn't have to be a GM if your FI isn't close with him, but if he wants to include him, just add him on. Sides don't have to be even.
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    Ditto PP about not counting on your parents' money, and the strings that would come attached if they do decide to pay.

    If you are close to your brother, and you want him to be a part of it, who says he can't stand on your side? 
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    Thanks for your suggestions!
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