The no children at the wedding blues..thanks for reading..any advice would be great

[Deleted User]

Hello all,
I'm sorry if I sound like I am whining, I just need to talk to someone about this and my family is driving me crazy!

I don't understand my family one bit. My mother informed my cousins with kids that I would not be inviting children to the wedding because of budget concerns. OK! Everyone was fine and great.

All of a sudden, my aunt offers to pay for my cousins' children to attend. I told her that I would not be inviting children on my side because my fiance's side had several children and we couldn't afford it. And we can't invite my side's kids and not his. (Apparently she did this a while ago, and now she doesn't have any more money to contribute to the wedding, in case anyone is wondering why I am not just taking the money and running)

Well I'm not sure if she told my cousins before asking me or just went ahead and went over my head after I said no, but now they are angry and wondering why their little ones can't come even though their is money for them. 

Now my cousins and mom and aunt are all fighting and I am sitting here wondering what the heck is going on. Why oh why the drama!

I haven't called and spoken to the cousins yet. I was wondering if I should? What would I say? I am pretty heated right now because for some reason my mom feels the need to relay all the nasty things they are saying to her about me. 

I just feel alone. My family keeps giving me grief, my aunt won't listen to what I want, my mom is making it all about her and here I am saying to myself It's my wedding. It's my fiance's wedding. What the heck about us?

Ah, sad pitty party done now! Thanks for listening. Any advice or words of wisdom would be great!

tonyadombrowski

Stick to your guns girl, I agree with you guys not wanting kids. I for one do not want kids either at the party besides my son and the flower girl. I wouldnt apologize because its not your fault but I would just tell your aunt that you are sorry for any confusion but your not having kids because its not what you and FI have discussed and it wont be fair if they came and nobody else did...tell her you'd like to stay with an adult reception and you appreciate her offer but its not in our plans, If they continue to get bad, o-well, this is your day and your FI day and this is what you both want so you should get it! Good luck

flower_diva

put your big girl panties on and call your aunts and cousins and tell them your mother did not relay the information correctly to them. You simply want an all adult wedding and it is your choice and will be very sad if they choose not to come.  You will miss them...   done,end of story.  Your mother should have never lied to them. THIS IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. repeat to yourself at least ten times a day. JMO

eelsbury08

You need to call them and explain why you arent having children at the reception. If your aunt and cousins dont come its on them not you. You made a decision to have no children, stick with it dont let anyone change your mind.

kmmssg

Get your mom out of the middle of  this.  She has muddied the waters here and it is not helping.  Call your aunts and deal with this asap.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_the-no-children-at-the-wedding-bluesthanks-for-readingany-advice-would-be-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c33b00d7-f2c6-4882-9c06-b34eee5ec016Post:3d01ac43-cf89-4140-8714-afeab8cb3990">The no children at the wedding blues..thanks for reading..any advice would be great</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all, I'm sorry if I sound like I am whining, I just need to talk to someone about this and my family is driving me crazy! I don't understand my family one bit. My mother informed my cousins with kids that I would not be inviting children to the wedding because of budget concerns. OK! Everyone was fine and great. All of a sudden, my aunt offers to pay for my cousins' children to attend. I told her that I would not be inviting children on my side because my fiance's side had several children and we couldn't afford it. And we can't invite my side's kids and not his. (Apparently she did this a while ago, and now she doesn't have any more money to contribute to the wedding, in case anyone is wondering why I am not just taking the money and running) Well I'm not sure if she told my cousins before asking me or just went ahead and went over my head after I said no, but now they are angry and wondering why their little ones can't come even though their is money for them.  Now my cousins and mom and aunt are all fighting and I am sitting here wondering what the heck is going on. Why oh why the drama! I haven't called and spoken to the cousins yet. I was wondering if I should? What would I say? I am pretty heated right now because for some reason my mom feels the need to relay all the nasty things they are saying to her about me.  I just feel alone. My family keeps giving me grief, my aunt won't listen to what I want, my mom is making it all about her and here I am saying to myself It's my wedding. It's my fiance's wedding. What the heck about us? Ah, sad pitty party done now! Thanks for listening. Any advice or words of wisdom would be great!
Posted by allisonhilbert[/QUOTE]

Elope. Your family sound like jerks.

VarunaTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_the-no-children-at-the-wedding-bluesthanks-for-readingany-advice-would-be-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c33b00d7-f2c6-4882-9c06-b34eee5ec016Post:3d01ac43-cf89-4140-8714-afeab8cb3990">The no children at the wedding blues..thanks for reading..any advice would be great</a>:
[QUOTE] I told her that I would not be inviting children on my side because my fiance's side had several children and we couldn't afford it. And we can't invite my side's kids and not his. (Apparently she did this a while ago, and now she doesn't have any more money to contribute to the wedding, in case anyone is wondering why I am not just taking the money and running) 
Posted by allisonhilbert[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You already told her no and you were even nice enough to explain why.  As an adult, if I say "No", I don't explain why, it doesn't matter, I made my decision and it'll stand whether it's a good or bad one.  </div><div>
</div><div>If they all want to fight about it, I'd let them and go gaily skipping on my way and have fun at my child free wedding, with or without those cousins.  If they try and involve you, simply re-state what you've already had to tell them and go on again.

</div>

aquari0216

Girl i understand its family and all but sometimes they are the biggest leesches....They got a problem? They can kick rocks and you go on and enjoy your wedding day...are u really gonna miss them if they and their Babe's (BAY-BAYS) kids dont show up? People and their expectations kill me when  youre paying $40+/ person for they asses to eat and be merry at your expense....

ReturnOfKuus

Honestly, I'd call them and shame them profusely for trying to take over the guest list for someone else's wedding.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_the-no-children-at-the-wedding-bluesthanks-for-readingany-advice-would-be-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:c33b00d7-f2c6-4882-9c06-b34eee5ec016Post:386ede33-67bb-44cf-a5d2-1392b4ff0643">Re: The no children at the wedding blues..thanks for reading..any advice would be great</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to The no children at the wedding blues..thanks for reading..any advice would be great : Elope. Your family sound like jerks.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Sadly it is too late to elope.  I have already put deposits on lots of things.  I have kicked myself several times for deciding NOT to go to Hawaii.  Oh well.  It will be what it will be and I will be married at the end of the day.