Pretty annoyed, upset, and hurt over some serious family drama today which has resulted in my favorite relatives from across the country cancelling their trip to be at our wedding (including my cousin who was going to be the ring bearer) 9 days before they were set to leave. It all came out of nowhere and it's so frustrating because until this moment everything in our year and a half engagement had been smooth sailing and drama free!
The story is complicated all over because my mother's side of the family always seem to be at war with each other (think high school drama times seven family members), and at any given point someone isn't speaking to someone else, someone has disowned everyone else, and someone is always left confused and hurt. The part of that drama that relates to me comes from relatives of mine who live an hour away from our family, but I have only seen or talked to three times in the last ten years. The family flying across the country arranged to stay with them while they were here, even after they were told that the relatives were not going to be invited.
Out of nowhere last night I got a message from the aunt who lives across the country absolutely outraged that the relatives had not been invited and basically trying to guilt trip me into inviting them to the wedding. I was pretty confused as it had been made very clear on many occasions that the relatives were not going to be invited. This morning my uncle of the same family got into an argument with my mother absolutely refusing to acknowledge that they had been informed at all that the relatives were not being invited, and how dare we put them in such a bad position. He demanded we send them proof that they had been informed of this before they made arrangements. We sent him screenshots of facebook messages between my aunt and I quite clearly showing that they knew before they made arrangements what the deal was. Apparently it wasn't enough, because my uncle then proceeded to send tons of text messages to my fiance saying how they didn't know and wrong we were and how they were borrowing all sorts of money to even make the trip. At one point he ventured as far to practically insist that we invite the relatives or they wouldn't be coming.
No one, no matter how much I may love or respect them, is going to try to basically blackmail me into inviting people to my wedding that I don't want there. I never forced them to come, I certainly didn't want them to have to borrow money to be there, and I specifically waited until after they had told me they were coming to even ask if my cousin would be our ring bearer. Just because I may be related to someone, does NOT make them my family. It makes them a relative. Family are people that have an impact in your life. These relatives never have had an impact in my life as they aren't involved in it at all. Why would I invite them to the beginning of the next chapter of my life if they can't be bothered to be involved in this one at all?
EDIT: Holy cow, that is long.
