I received a wedding present from my Fiance...

4LeafClover3

I just need to vent a litte...

Ok, I want to preface this by saying I have been planning his wedding gift for a while and put a lot of thought in to it. He is really in to his family heritage and lineage. He even has his last name tattooed across his back. So I thought it would be nice to track down his family crest. I spent hours on the phone with several of his family members trying to track down his ancestors. After I got enough information I took it to my jeweler who works with a company that tracks down his family crest and then I am having it hand engraved in to a medallion for him. He wears a chain on a regular basis so I know he will love the medallion. I called his sister (who he is super close with) and asked her if she thinks this is the right gift for him. She said he will absolutely love it. So I want him to open the gift on the morning of the wedding and read the heartfelt letter I am writing about how I am so happy to marry him, yaddy yaddy ya... and explain how that I thought he should wear his family crest proud because I know I am now proud to be a part of his family.

So yesterday I was out with a couple friends for some shopping. I get home and he says "I got your wedding present today". I honestly didn't even think he was going to get me anything but I was excited. Then he said "I have to give it to you before the wedding because I can't bring it with us (we are flying to NY to have the wedding). I looked at him confused and then he said "ok I want to give it to you now!" So then he comes out to the living room with my present.... a gun. He got me a gun. Now I have been shooting with him before and it was kind of fun. Not really my thing but it is a hobby of his so I go along with him when he goes. One time he mentioned getting me my own gun and I was like "yeah maybe at some point". I guess that he took that as "I want a gun!" He even said when he gave it to me "I didn't really know what to get you". Um... he has two sisters who could have helped him. I am not trying to be ungrateful and I know his heart was in the right place but I guess I am disappointed he really didn't put much thought in to it. I mean a wedding gift should be something meaningful. He also said "this is kind of hillbilly and not very romantic, I know." It is like he just decided to go out and look at guns and thought well I should get her a wedding gift so while I am here I should get her one. After trying to wipe the look of disbelief off my face I thanked him and forced a smile. I couldn't do much else. Then he went off and played with "my gun".

I just find this so weird because normally he is super thoughtful and gives lovely gifts so this was a shock. I don't want to tell him this was not a good gift because I don't want to hurt his feelings but I am just floored by this. I would he rather not get me anything and just write me a super sweet and heartfelt note. That would have honestly made my whole wedding day. Ugh...

4LeafClover3

I don't pretend to like shooting. I actually don't mind it. But I really don't care to have a gun of my own. And like I said, he actually told me "I didn't really know what to get you." Ok, he didn't know... but there are a ton of ways to find out what would be a more appropriate option. Guns are his things, not mine... and he knows this. I have declined going to the gun range with him on many occassions because I just didn't want to go and didn't feel like shooting.

I never said that I wanted anything with diamonds in it. Not a jewelry lover any way. You're right... just because he gives me jewelry there wouldn't necesarily be meaning behind it. That is why I said I would he rather just wrote me a heartfelt note for me to read that morning because at least then I would have known it was something special. He actually just took and played with the gun after giving it to me.... pretty sure it was a gun he wanted in the first place. 

4LeafClover3

I do see your point. He is former army so guns are a big deal for him. He just took me by surprise and not really the kind I was hoping for. 

He does do sweet and romantic things when the occassion calls for it so that is why I am so confused at this. I guess I will just take it as how you say and see it as thoughtful he wants me to be a part of the many aspecrs of his life. He is usually so good at being so thoughtful and I guess he probably thought he was being thoughtful. 

TheDuckis

I won't lie, I would have raged.

But, some people are just bad at giving gifts. My H will send me flowers for no reason or bring home some silly little trinket because it made him think of me, but when it comes to actual gift-giving occasions (birthday, Christmas, anniversary) he just forgets to shop or something.

We've both now realized that forethought just isn't his thing. I don't expect as much, he tries harder, and we're both happier for it. It took some arguing early in our relationship, but I'd much rather have one or two fights about it than suffer in silence for the rest of our lives.

4LeafClover3

Good idea, wifezilla! I think then at least I will be happy with the whole situation.

Ok... you win with the scary roses plaque. At least I can maybe look badass while I carry my gun around. I do live in TX afterall! lol. 

MrsKigerToBe

To me it kinda sounds like he got himself a present. My dad did that to my mom one year. He bought her a Super Nintendo. He said he thought she wanted one because she had actually picked up the controller in the store even though the only video games she has every played are Duck Hunt and Tetris. She opened the present and she questioned whether it was really for her. He said yes and he was never going to buy any games for it unless she wanted a game. She opened her other package and it was Zelda. I am sure my dad wanted my mom to play video games with him, but that was not the way to do it!

skippylouwho

Yea - the key is that after he gave it to her he went off and played with it. He wanted to buy a new toy, he just used the wedding as an excuse.

LizziebeeUT

One of the biggest problems married couples have is that they don't spend enough time together.

By him buying you this present, it means he WANTS to spend more time with you. And if tis doing somehting he enjoys as a hobby its even better. A lot of guys use their hobbies to get away from the family and house. You should appreciate the fact that he wants you along while he enjoys his hobbies.

I do understand you beig disappointed though, I mean it isn't very romantic, but I think a lot of women have an idea of what romance is and then nothing can live up to it.

Just try to appreciate the gift for what it is. A way for you two to spend more time together.