carrie newman and her mother julia come to visit the keatons. they used to live in the same neighborhood and they are back for a visit. alex has always been in love with carrie and cannot believe that she has gotten even more beautiful.
(i recognized carrie newman from a variety of "law & orders"; you mad men watchers may know her as "mona sterling.")
anyhoo, carrie has also gotten a lot more sophisticated. she and her mother have traveled the world. one night, she goes on a date with victor, who is a kind of proto-nick: he wears a leather jacket with studs and he does a lot of grunting. how did they meet? they used to live next to his parole officer! oh, felons -- they are so funny.
anyhoo, alex is appalled by what a modern woman carrie is, and vows to reform her into a proper young submissive woman. to my utter horror, neither steven nor elyse say a damn thing, nor does julia, and so alex goes about trying to make carrie see the error of her ways.
alex asks her out on a date, where they will first donate blood and then hand out cookies to orphans. while they are getting ready for the date, alex takes a shower. carrie does not notice there is anyone else in the bathroom and pulls back the shower curtain and gets a full view of the keaton junk (republican category). there is pointing and laughing. fyi -- alex p. has tiny nipples like vaughn.
so they go out on the date and it is a disaster. carrie leaves because she is insulted by alex's attempts to make her into femmebot. go on, carrie -- YOU DO YOU, GIRL. alex goes home. his parents are there, and they suggest that carrie is fine they way she is, and maybe alex should adapt.
carrie comes in to the kitchen, she and alex make up, they smooch, and then they slow dance in the kitchen.
no children died in this episode, but i died a little on the inside.
