Help W/ Gift Registry Dilemma

jerrynjeni

I am getting married in October and I have a question regarding my registry. My FI and I currently live at home with his parents. Everyone knows we live at home and we plan on buying a house after the wedding. We just don’t know when. It might not be for awhile afterwards. With the economy and the expense of paying for a wedding and honeymoon we just can’t afford to buy a house before the wedding. We did register for gifts but I feel a little weird  when they find out that we registered for household items and we don’t even have a house. I already feel judged. So my question is  what should I do? A. not tell anyone about my registry? or B. Just make it word of mouth that we would prefer money? How do I handle the questions at the bridal shower about when are you getting a house and blah blah blah…. Sometimes people are so judgmental

psichick

maybe rent an apartment and move out of your in laws house?

GBCK

don't register for stuff you won't use now.

or cancle the honeymoon and rent an apartment--most newlyweds w/ budget issues don't actually buy HOUSES; that's why renting was invented.

jerrynjeni

It is more expensive to rent here in phoenix than buy a house in most cases. As for renting we do pay rent right now. We are not free loaders we pay most of the bills here but are having a hard time finding a place. I just wanted to know if any one had helpful advice.

Butter Cookie

Register for household items you will need. You can keep them in storage until you and your husband get a house. You will need those things. Don't tell people you prefer money, just say, "We're registered at so-and-so, but of course we're still saving for a house as well."

People will give you what they want to give you. I gave BFF money without her ever saying a word, because I knew she and her H were saving for a house.

jerrynjeni

Thank you!

6fsn

What Butter Cookie said.  I'd never judge someone for not buying a house right out of the gate, but I would side eye a married couple living with the ILs.

TheDuckis

There's nothing wrong with registering for household items if you're planning on moving out on your own in the near future. As far as questions from guests, just tell them you're looking forward to being out on your own as soon as you find a home that suits you.

There are other practical concerns to living with your ILs after marriage, not least of which are lack of privacy and independence. I would encourage you to find a place of your own asap, even if you're just renting a 1-bedroom or studio for a few months.

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_w-gift-registry-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d04cb6e6-5af5-42ab-8ffe-977bc38a4318Post:01186e53-2024-47c9-a65f-62dcc9f93aee">Re: Help W/ Gift Registry Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]It is more expensive to rent here in phoenix than buy a house in most cases. As for renting we do pay rent right now. 
Posted by jerrynjeni[/QUOTE]

<div>Bullshit. I have lived in PHX, still have family there, and you're doin' it rong. You can find a perfectly affordable apartment, if you look somewhere other than 'Tukee or Scottsdale. </div><div>
</div><div>Frankly, I don't think people who can't live on their own should marry, so hey, problem solved!</div>

psichick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_w-gift-registry-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d04cb6e6-5af5-42ab-8ffe-977bc38a4318Post:71fa7f87-0bc5-44e1-b2e5-1dc9a0dcd0df">Re: Help W/ Gift Registry Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help W/ Gift Registry Dilemma : Bullshit. I have lived in PHX, still have family there, and you're doin' it rong. You can find a perfectly affordable apartment, if you look somewhere other than 'Tukee or Scottsdale.  Frankly, I don't think people who can't live on their own should marry, so hey, problem solved!
Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]

<div>i knid of agree. generally speaking, renting IS more expensive than a mortgage payment, it's getting the down payment for the mortgage that is usually the problem. i know that our rent right now is more than it would cost us to buy a condo, but we don't have the 40k down payment yet, so we rent. </div><div>
</div><div>that being said, we're getting married in less than two months, and we're adults so we don't live with either of our parents. i agree that if you can't afford to live on your own, you shouldn't be getting married. plenty of people rent while saving up for a house, it's not impossible or unusual. </div>