MOB help

smt861

This has been a year and a half already in the making and I am at 7 months before the big day and my mother still has yet to give me a guest list.  I have tried to ask her many times for it, nice, stern, given an ultimatum, cried, fought, I mean everything besides just not letting her have any choice in who is invited.  To make things more tense, she is so rude to my MOH about trying to even talk about my bridal shower ie: cupcakes, where, what kind. My MOH is the nicest person ever and literally just wants to fulfill her duties!   Oh and before all of you freak out about being nice to mom, I am paying for the wedding, no one else, I'm 25. 

KatoNorway

I don't know what else you can do except to draft the guest list without her. As far as her being rude to the MOH, you can't really make someone play nice. That sucks she's copping an attitude, but it's really no one's problem but her own. You can only do so much.

RaptorSLH

If she isn't paying, she can't enforce guest decisions.  Invite those family members that you know well enough to invite.  If you want to, and still have room, give her a copy of the list when you're finished.  Give her a set deadline (say, one week) to add anyone you've missed.

I'm not clear on the situation with the shower.  Whoever is hosting has the power.  If that's your mom, remind your MOH that she doesn't have to help the host if she doesn't want to, (and the host being rude would certainly make me not want to.)  If MOH is the host, time to start cutting mom out of the plans.  And if they are trying to share hosting, it may be time to separate plans into two individually hosted events (although this is a decision they should make, not you.)

There are very few actual duties a MOH has, and a  shower isn't one of them.  Neither she nor your mother are obligated to host one.  Let your MOH know that you value her happiness more than her cupcakes.