Wedding Woes
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grooms stranged mother

We are getting married next year and will be announcing the engagement soon.  The issue is that my fiance is estranged from his mother.  She has done some pretty terrible things and caused a lot of heartache and there is no way he will allow her at the wedding (there is a restraining order).  His father however still has a relationship with us and we really want to invite him.  Can we send him and invitation?

Re: grooms stranged mother

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    edited December 2011
    I think this should be a decision made by the groom.
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    MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grooms-stranged-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d0e27b80-09c4-4028-ba46-12073dbcc724Post:145c3c22-d431-4a34-b9c6-deba79f2a8cd">grooms stranged mother</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are getting married next year and will be announcing the engagement soon.  The issue is that my fiance is estranged from his mother.  She has done some pretty terrible things and caused a lot of heartache and there is no way he will allow her at the wedding (there is a restraining order).  His father however still has a relationship with us and we really want to invite him.  Can we send him and invitation?
    Posted by missesodie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes.</div>
    image
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    you can invite him.  however, don't be surprised if he declines.
    image
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grooms-stranged-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d0e27b80-09c4-4028-ba46-12073dbcc724Post:145c3c22-d431-4a34-b9c6-deba79f2a8cd">grooms stranged mother</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are getting married next year and will be announcing the engagement soon.  The issue is that my fiance is estranged from his mother.  She has done some pretty terrible things and caused a lot of heartache and there is no way he will allow her at the wedding (there is a restraining order).  His father however still has a relationship with us and we really want to invite him.  Can we send him and invitation?
    Posted by missesodie[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm assuming that fMIL and fFIL are still married to each other? </div><div>Your FI could invite his dad, but should make it clear that mom is not welcome.He would probably be better off just talking to his dad about the situation rather than just sending an invite.  He needs to be prepared for his dad to RSVP no due to mom not being welcome. Hopefully his dad will be understanding of the bad blood, and will still want to celebrate with you guys.</div>
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grooms-stranged-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d0e27b80-09c4-4028-ba46-12073dbcc724Post:145c3c22-d431-4a34-b9c6-deba79f2a8cd">grooms stranged mother</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are getting married next year and will be announcing the engagement soon.  The issue is that my fiance is estranged from his mother.  She has done some pretty terrible things and caused a lot of heartache and there is no way he will allow her at the wedding (there is a restraining order).  His father however still has a relationship with us and we really want to invite him.  Can we send him and invitation?
    Posted by missesodie[/QUOTE]


    I read this as, "Groom <strong>strangled</strong> mother"

    I think you mean estranged, but if they (Mom and Dad) are still married you can't invite Dad without pissing off, offending, and possibly causing Mom to show up.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    What did she do?
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    LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think in this case it is fine to just invite his father...hopefully that restraining order will keep MIL away....but you may want to think about hiring a rent-a-cop or some type of security in case she shows up anyway.
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    BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If the restraining order is still in effect, there's your answer. 

    Invitations won't go out for many months, so that's not something you need to actually worry about.  I agree that sending a piece of paper might cause unnecessary drama, so it might be better to just reach an agreement with his father when the time comes.

    It's terrible that your fiance has such an awful mother. I wish you both well.  It's healthy to cut off contact with truly toxic or abusive people, regardless of their relationship to you. I can't imagine why his father would still be married to someone whose own son had to have a restraining order against her, her, but I obviously don't know the whole story.

    Congratultions on your engagement!
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    kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can invite, but if there's a restraining order, then not to keep your hopes up, but he'll probably decline.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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