Buyer's Remorse?

VANNELLABEAR

Hi All! This is my very first post and I need advice! I got engaged this past Christmas and after the initial shock wore off, I have still yet to start doing anything for the wedding more than purchase two wedding magazines and sign up for theknot.com. I know I want to gte married but the idea of planning a wedding stresses me out to no end. My fiance keeps asking if I'm looking for venues, etc and I have done nothing. Today, while having a fun day with my sister and aunt, we decided to try on wedding dresses on a whim. When the consultant brought out the dresses, I instantly connected with one of them. It was beautiful on the hanger and was exactly what I always imagined I would wear on my wedding day. I tried on all 4 dresses she brought for me, but I kept going back to the first one. It was GORGEOUS! And on sale for $799. The entire store stopped to admire me in the dress and my aunt and sister kept raving about how perfect it was. I definitely love the dress. So, I purchased it. After I did (ok, a bit before I did), I started feeling very anxious and nervous. Not because I didnt love the dress, but because we weren't planning on getting married until June 2013 and I kept thinking it was too soon. I put my feelings aside and purchased the dress anyway. When I got home and told my fiancee what I had done, he was upset. He said I was putting the wagon before the horse since we don't yet have anything else for the wedding (venue being most important). Sigh. Now I am a rack of nerves and guilt. The dress won't arrive until June and I have the ability to exchange it for something else but I can't help feeling like I jumped the gun. Has anyone else purchased a dress so far ahead of their wedding?

em0677

Yes, I did!  I got engaged 12/10 but I live overseas and can't do much from over here.  I was completely stressed out about the whole planning bit and when I was home for the summer I bought a dress for $750.  Still more than I wanted to pay, especially because by then we had decided on an immediate family only wedding and the dress is big, can't be mistaken for anything but a wedding dress!  I think we did have our venue then, but in 12/11, I got a call that our venue went out of business because of Hurricane Irene and the ice storms in NY. 

Now we're back to square one.  Because the whole thing has been extremely stressful and my family is not helping much (my mom will only go to venues she's interested in, but not the ones I send her) and my fiance is getting annoyed with his mother in the planning, we want to elope.  But, now I feel guilty that I have this huge dress and might not have a wedding, just get married. 

Yes, you bought your dress a little early and in the "wrong" order, but you found a dress you love and that's great.  If I had time, I would have liked to check out some more dresses, but I was pressed for time.  My friend wanted to cry when she saw me in the dress and I definitely kept coming back to it after trying on a ton of dresses, but still.  I would have liked to not feel so pressured in making my decision.  But, the dress is hanging at my brother's house waiting for me. 

So, since you have your dress, just try to find a venue that matches your dress.  Although, I don't think that matters too much.  My dress is definitely a lot more dress than I thought appropriate for my small wedding, but it's your day!   

VANNELLABEAR

OMG! Thank you for responding! I instantly felt better after reading your post! I too have been seriously thinking about eloping and my dress is definitely a "look at me dress". Even if I do elope, I still want fab pictures and maybe a party to celebrate when we return. Sigh. I guess everything will be okay. I won't allow myself to try on any more dresses because I don't want to fall in love with something esle. I guess I should just have faith in my sense of style. I definitely know what I like and what looks good on me. I really hope my fiance loves it too. Honestly, as badly as I feel, I think knowing I have a dress will kick start my planning of everything else! I hope everything works out well for you!

NikkiZ81

Hello and congratulations! Not only on your engagement, but on finding the dress you LOVE!
I can relate because I bought my dress more than a year and a half before my first wedding. But i knew then it was perfect, everything i loved all into one knockout gown (and in my price range!). I occassionally had second thoughts about buying it so far in advance, but I knew it was right.  When it was time for my wedding, I wore my dress with no regrets, knowing that I had found the one dress that fit Me perfectly! To this day, I still love that dress!
If you are happy with this gown, revel in it! Use it to help guide your other decisions and know that you can make these kind of big decisions. Enjoy the planning process, it really is fun!!
I hope this helps! I'm planning my second wedding now, and from experience my best (and most fun!) advice is to go to every wedding show possible! Lots of vendors, lots of fun, lots of ideas and lots of cake samples and promotions from vendors!
Good luck!

JaxInBlue

Congratulations!  I think it's only buyer's remorse if you no longer like the dress and feel that because of the dress you bought you are now locked into a specific type of wedding that might not fit your constraints (whatever they may be - budget, religious requirements on attire, etc.). 

I think my dress was also our first concrete wedding purchase - we had a tentative date and had narrowed down our venues, but we were still in the preliminary planning stages.  However, it was the only time I could go shopping with my mom and my sister, so it was what it was.  I think finding my dress actually helped the planning process significantly - it set a tone for the wedding we used to pick colors, bridesmaids dresses, wedding decor, motif.  So, this might be the breakthrough you never knew you needed to make other decisions.  I hope this makes the rest of your planning easier, too!

heatherrenee527

I did the same thing.  Engaged on 12.17.11 and bought THE dress on 1.7.12.  It wasn't planned, I was just trying on dresses after attending a bridal show with my family.  My mom pulled a dress that I didn't even think I would like and I feel in love with it.  When I came out my mom, sister, and all the strangers in the room all stopped to look at me.  Just like your experience, everyone all in the room knew the dress was perfect.  I don't think it matters when you find the perfect dress.  Whether it's dress number 1 or dress number 100.  You know when it's right. 

Try not to overthink it.  I was a little stressed too because my mom forwarded a picture with an ugly belt that I had tried on which made me hate my dress.  I deleted the photo and instructed my mom to do the same.  Now I have just one picture with a sash that I loved and the dress looks perfect.  Also, I put it on this weekend with my new slip and my sister and I feel in love with it all over again.  There is a certain magic that happens with THE dress so don't worry too much.

mandctaft

I got engaged 08/10 and had my dress in my closet by 12/10. I had planned on an 08/11 wedding but we had to push it back, so I'll have had my dress about a year and a half when we get married.