So, after we got home from grocery shopping and dinner, we decided to work in our workbook thing that our pre-marital counselors had us working on. He started getting pissy about some things that I was writing, (the subject was effective communication) telling me that I "wasn't doing it right" etc. and I got upset. Which branched into me telling him he's been kind of harsh the past few days, and that branched into how I wish I could play around with him more. To which he told me that I can't change him, that he just doesn't like to play around in public....and I told him that I wanted a relationship where we COULD do it occasionally. Not all the time, I realize we're adults but...occasionally.
And that's where it ended. He said he just couldn't give that to me and that he's not ready for marriage.
I don't know what we are at this point. Just between him and I, and my sister (I felt like I needed to tell her ASAP since she was the one footing the bill for the cake) the wedding is off. No one else really knows yet.
What is really sad.... I'm upset. But...not like I had thought I would be. I'm sure I'm numb right now but...we've been able to joke around and everything. I'm not sure we're OVER but...the wedding is called off.
But then he asked me if she's CANCELING the cake or if she's just putting a hold on it...and I told him I wasn't sure. And jokingly I asked him if he wanted to see my dress at least since I wouldn't get to wear it for him and he started crying and said "no, it's bad luck, that's what I'm trying to tell you, i still want to marry you just not now." And I'm still wearing the engagement ring too. So I have really no idea what we are....BF and GF?
Engaged but without a date? I don't know. And honestly I'm not sure what to do even if HE still wants to get married but at a later date. I feel like him waiting til a month and a half before the thing to even bother saying anything is just...completely crappy. Pretty much the only thing he could do worse is just leave me at the altar, which I suppose I can be grateful that he didn't do that eh?
I'm just...numb. I don't know what to do. I'm going to visit my dad and brothers, hopefully helping them move all their stuff and get their house set up will distract me from this for a little while...and then I guess we'll decide what we're doing after that. I just don't know....