Wedding Woes

people at work

 I'm sure there must be others out there,that work in such an enviroment as me.For one thing,we're all women where I work at.Unfortunately this means alot of drama.We have a good bit of backstabbing going on frequently.We work well together to get the job done though,that's probably the only reason we get along.

Lately,some of them have been talking about coming to my wedding.Mind you,I havent even got a date set yet.And AS IF I'd invite some of them!! It's so rude,its like they're trying to invite themselves. I'm planning on sending out wedding invites,but only to the ones I want to be there(close family and friends)

 What do you guys think? I just feel really hurt by some of this going on at work.I need some opinions from others who may or have been in the same boat.Am I wrong for not wanting to invite any of them? I sure hope not....I always thought you should invite WHO you wanted,that you didnt have to invite people from your workplace if you dont want... I certainly DONT want to invite people I dont want at my wedding...
thanks for any replies....

Re: people at work

  • edited December 2011
    Eventough you are excited (and have evry right to be) limit discussing your wedding plans at work. Don;t bring it up. If others bring it up, limit being too lenghty. the more you talk about it, the more it will stoke the fire and they will assum to get an ivite or invite themselves. Since you have not set a date yet, you have it pretty easy so far! :-) For htos adamant aka rude folks, just tell them your wedding is intimate for close family and lmited space.My wedding guest list will be 60. Initmate enough for me and my FI and large enough to include close family and close friends. We look at it this way, are those on our guset list the same people we would invite to a dinner party at our home?Peopl we haven;t spoken to in a while, work colleagues, casual acquaintances, and distant relatives are not unloved, they just aren't priority financially or emotinally to have on OUR intimate day.
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  • edited December 2011
    Invite who you want!!!  My FH loves his co-workers and is really excited for an upcoming baby shower for one of them (a boy excited about a shower- who would have thought!!).  I calculated that his co-workers will cost us $1600 to invite, but we are counting them as "friends" - not an obligation.  If they weren't that close.. we would have kicked them off the list a long time ago.  (I however am not inviting anyone from work- and not letting them know my FH is.  We are not FB friends with each other and my FH isn't on FB- so we don't have to worry about tags in pictures after the wedding).

    Let them know that space/budget limitations limits your guest list and even though you would love to have them there- you simply can't.

    If they talk about throwing you a work shower before they know they aren't invited- be sure to let them know you can't have them there.

    Based on your description.. they will probably be upset.. but they will move on when some other drama comes up.

    Just be sure to avoid talking about your wedding at work.  I know how hard this is- trust me!  But even the little stuff keeps the topic on their mind.

    Good luck and congrats!
  • edited December 2011
    thanks guys.Your posts have made me feel MUCH better!! =) Definetly will follow the advice.
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Do not stoop down to their level. if they gossip ignore it, even if it's juicy, or about you. You'll be happy you avoided it. Be polite, cordial, but don't get involved in office politics. And let them say what they want. If they ask about your wedding just say, "We're still deciding the details"

    and leave it at that.

    PS I hate working with all women. I work with mostly men and the women I do work with are professionals and don't need to gossip.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_people-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d5459bd4-c7bc-40a0-aed6-e7745f4644dfPost:e9c490f0-632d-463b-9323-893e84c2a686">Re: people at work</a>:
    [QUOTE]PS I hate working with all women. I work with mostly men and the women I do work with are professionals and don't need to gossip.
    Posted by Butter Cookie[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  Customer service is all women here, and it's always some drama about who did what to whom and who said this vs. who said that.  My dept. is all men except for the 70 y.o. woman I've mentioned (who doesn't like drama any more than I do) so it works well.

    As for work, don't bring it up, and don't take the bait if they try to engage you in conversation about it.  ("I haven't even had time to think about the wedding since I've been working on XYZ.")
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