I am not lying I have continuously been a bridesmaid for five years. I am just now beginning with my third bride.
The first friend I was a bridesmaid for asked me two years before the wedding and asked me to be MoH.... come to find out four months later she was calling her sister her Moh and I was a regular BM hurt feelings and resentment begin. I plastered on a smile and pretended everything was okay. a couple months after that the groom began harassing the bridal party. I was on the verge of leaving the bridal party when the other bridesmaid got engaged and lost total interest in the upcoming wedding... rude much? I worked with Bride 1 as an overnight baker and our boss was hassling me about the time off (I asked for two days day before and day of wedding). Groom laid off but showed no respect to even bride's sister. Wedding was pretty but I was so tired of the plans I didn't really enjoy the day...
Bride 2 (also second bridesmaid on Bride 1's wedding) asked her bridal party within a week of getting engaged.... two and a half years before wedding date. We had been sharing woe's about B1's wedding and she was promising to keep her wedding much simpler and happier and -cheaper- LIES! Worst Bridzilla EVER! She I lost my job 1 year before wedding and was denied unemployment (and remained unemployed through the wedding). She tried to be sympathetic but then picked out a bridesmaid dress that cost over $200… she also had exacting things she wanted at her shower and bachlorette party. The dress she picked out didn’t come in plus size so she ordered me the largest they had and when it didn’t fit I offered to be an usher instead and let one of her other friends who would fit in the dress take my place. –I should have insisted—She insisted I stay in the bridal party and the alterations for the dress ended up being over $400 which my family graciously paid along with new undergarments and shoes. Even though she picked up the initial bill for the bridesmaid dress… she expects me to pay her back, I still have to pay back my family for the alterations. Now, I’m not saying I shouldn’t have to come up with some of the financial responsibility I did manage to come up with $25 for both the shower and bachelorette party’s from some here and there work, but I DO NOT plan on paying her back for the entire cost of the dress when she KNEW I couldn’t afford the dress in the first place, and offered to be an usher or serve in some other capacity instead of being a bridesmaid. BTW her budget was over $30,000… I don’t think $200 is going to kill her.
Having ranted about B1 and B2 to BFF now B3… I feel that some of her decisions are being based on my angry rants of the past. She’s designated no MoH YAY! No one is set above others and it feels nice for once. But her wedding isn’t for 21 months… her budget is right around $4000 and wants to pay for all the bridesmaid dresses… I told her I would be willing to make bridesmaid dresses and that she should let each member of WP pay for their own attire. So far 3 BM’s and 2 GM that was she only has to worry about Groom’s attire (Her dress is being paid for by Step-Grandmother) She’s on a super tight budget and I am doing my best to help her. We started looking at Venues this week and I am already tired of her thinking she can spend more money then she can. She got upset with me for suggesting money saving ideas…
I’ve already decided to deny any further request to be in a WP because I am sick of being a constant BM… it’s not that I don’t love my friends, I do… but B2 became a completely different person about her wedding and turned me off of being a BM. There had honestly been some hope that B3 would elope like she wants but the groom is insisting on a wedding. Asking the bridal party no longer then 8 months before hand sounds awesome… I wish someone would slap some sense into my friends because they need it.