Wedding Woes

For Monday


Dear Aunt Fundie,

I was not always blessed to be a card carrying fundie. I was once a daughter of the world. I smoke, drank, wore pants, spoke my mind, had pre-marital sex, defied my parents, considered myself equal to a man, had a career and was an unabashed atheist. Now that God has touched my heart and put me back on my true path as a woman who seeks only to fulfill her Biblical duty to marry and have children, be a keeper at home and a cheerful help meet, allowing her precious womb to be opened only by God’s loving hands, I find it hard to find a man who will overlook my past impurities and see me for the loving daughter of Christ I am now. How can I get them to see beyond my past to see the real me?

Lonely in Laredo
Dear LIL,

You are spoiled goods now. No Christ loving man will want his sacred baby making tool of power near your soiled and dying lady flower. Your womb is not a place of innocent beauty but now a wreckage of dishonor. A woman’s worth is only determined by the status of their hymen. You’ll most definitely burn in hell. Have a sunshine day!
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