Wedding Woes

Dear Prudie...My wife adopted my love child...

Dear Prudie,
I had an affair eight years ago, and from that affair came my daughter. Her biological mother wanted little to do with her, so my wife adopted her when she was a baby, and we have raised her together. My wife is fantastic. She eventually forgave me, and looks upon our daughter as something wonderful that came out of something that was devastating. We haven't told our daughter directly how she came to be, but we have always taken the approach that children come to families through all sorts of ways. She does know, as much as a preteen can, that she is biologically mine but not biologically her mother's and that that doesn't matter to either of us. But people often ask probing questions when they learn that our daughter is not biologically my wife's: Did we use a surrogate? Was I married before? Where's her real mother now? The questions confuse our daughter and hurt my wife. How do we address questions and comments? And how and when do we explain the circumstances of our daughter's birth to her?

-Dad Fed Up With Nosiness
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