FOB Girlfriend nightmare!

AlwysListn

Hello Knotties!!!

My dad's girlfriend is acting like she wants to take over my wedding.  I don't know what to do!  She's not happy that my mom bought me a dress...Hello! She's my mother! She got all upset and threatened not to come to the wedding because I apparently acted like none of her ceremony sites were good enough...I'm afraid that if I tell her to back off, neither her nor my father will come! I don't know what to do! My mom feels like she is in a "turf war" over me and the ideas we have. I don't want her to feel that way cuz well, she's mom.  Should I say it again? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I want my dad to be there to give me away but I'm so worried!!!

Knotties...PLEASE help me! I don't want this wonderful day to go to shambles because she wants this wedding HER way!

Maybe I'm a push over....Help? 

*Barbie*

whoever pays gets the say. if Dad and his GF are paying, they get a say in how the money is spent. If you don't like their ideas, don't accept the cash.

 

if you refuse cash from everyone else, and pay for it yourself, then you get to tell everyone to STFU. 

Butter Cookie

your dads gf needs a ho sit down card.

If you're close to her I would sit her down and explain that having your mother who raised you and cared for you be the primary in this wedding planning venture has nothing to do with GF and your Dad. Explain that, even if it's cliche, every daughter wants her mother there to help with the wedding planning. You might even give GF a nibble of something to do. Help with the invite picking, or whatever.

Your Mom, who I assume raised you, shouldn't feel like she's having to fight to be a part of your wedding.

If you're not close with your father's GF, and she's just batshitcrazy, I'd tell Dad to talk her down.

stacy&tige

I think the place to start is with your father. Talk to him about the situation, explain what you are feeling. Perhaps his gf is feeling a little left out or thinks she should be involved since she's with your father. Give her something, even a small task, to occupy her mind/time.

But definitely stand your ground. Your mom is your mom...no one else can take her place. Your father's gf needs to realize her place in all this. She the father's gf and that's about it. Your mother should be able to contribute to your special day any way she sees fit.

As someone who isn't going to have her mother on her special day, I can tell you that no one will replace her in my heart. My stepmom has been great, supportive and helpful, but she's been treading lightly. She knows I want my own mother. That's just how it is with us girls. We want our mom's on our wedding day.

AlwysListn

Thank you soooo much for ya'lls feedback...I really do appreciate it. I've known her for about 4ish years now...She's a great woman, a great friend and can really keep my dad in line, but I'm so worried that if I say the wrong thing or ask her to back off, she's going to misinterpret it and then neither one of them will show. Everything in me wants to please everybody, but I know someone is going to get their feelings hurt. I've never really been good at expressing my feelings or standing my ground and my dad really intimidates me. The first time this happened, I called him to talk to him about it and he turned around and basically said that my mom was trying to take over and blah blah blah...then said some not so nice things about her.

Broken homes, suck donkey....

Anywho...I've informed her (in regards to the ceremony site) that no decision will be made until all of us have seen it. My fiancee actually found it online, we went to look at it and then feel in love with it...but I'm worried that if I don't let her agree on it, doo doo will fly...

Courthouse, here I come...

AlwysListn

I completely agree with you! FH and I, from the beginning, were set on paying for this ourselves...Dad can't sponsor the wedding, mom can't sponsor the wedding, girlie-friend can't sponsor the wedding....but mom is contributing to the wedding...with little odds and ends...like my dress...and going 50/50 on the site...things like that...finding the site has been the biggest nightmare out of all of it....I'm afraid if I don't say F it, I will lose the date for any of the places I choose...