So the host of the lunch gets up and starts saying there's a program that has been planned for us.
There were various readings from the Bible, poetry books and internet forwards about mothers. It was all very basic. Complete with an off-tune "Wind Beneath My Wings" tribute, and an excellent original song.
There was one point where my eyebrows were jumpin' - a girl got up to read an original poem. It was along the lines of, "You know I'm a mom because I have snot on my shoulder, Goldfish in my purse and a diaper in my glove box." But there were a few lines ... "You know I'm a mom. I'm the one who answers the hard questions, like when we're in the grocery store and my son asks, 'Mom, why doesn't the black man in dreadlocks get a haircut?!'" and "I'm a Mom and I don't need any government issued papers or ID to prove it."
And now, to the best part - the kids. There was a handful of girls, aged 4-11 that got up and sang a song. And then there was a Q and A session by their choir teacher. It started off basic, with "What's your Mom's first name?" kind of stuff. The teacher asked the same ?s of each girl. But these are my favorites:
Q: Hailey, what's your Mom's hobby? What's her favorite thing to do that helps her have fun and relax?
A: Count her money. (the mom is a waitress)
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Q: Jordan, what's your Mom's favorite food?
A: SAUSAGE. (said in a hungry, growly voice)
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Q: Jordan, what's your favorite food that Mom cooks for you?
A: Sausage. (said with a sigh). It's all she ever cooks! (with exasperation).
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Q: Jordan, what's your Mom's hobby?
A: Smokin'.
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Q: Jordan, would your Mom make a good President?
A: Oh, NO! She'd be terrible.
Q: Why?!
A: She smokes. Adurr!
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There was a door raffle - I won an address book with scriptures on each page. Be jealousE. The program wrapped up with a closing song and we left. That lunch started at 11:30am and didn't finish til 3:00pm. You could see the old ladies shifting their hats and canes at the front table. That thing was too long, esp. for the little girls. Near the end, someone went to the kids' room and brought back coloring books and crayons for them.
We loaded up DD and MIL said she wanted to go to one particular outlet store b/c they had a HUGE baby section. Ya'll, this store was 45 minutes away from church and an hour away from her house. MommaLeg was not happy about that, at all. Esp. since we got there and they'd reduced their baby section to 3 small racks. ::smdh::
We left the store empty handed, went home and picked up FIL. They treated me to Cracker Barrel dinner (YUM!). We had a nice evening at home, chasing DD around the house and doing the normal baby stuff.
Part 4 (Sunday, Church) coming up. And maybe a Part 5 and a WDYT pickle I'm in.