Date change...help!

Pumpkin&Hunny

My fiance and I finally reset our date, 4 years after we had to cancel our original date. He has his heart set on this date, and since it is finally something he decided without me pushing him into it, I am all for it. We told his parents what date we picked, and suddenly last night, his mom decided she can't make it, she is going on a cruise. My fiance said he is not going to push it back at all. She suggested to move it up a month. He got angry at that and said he didn't want to move it. I know he doesn't want to do that, he is stubborn. I tried to talk to him about it, but he won't budge. He said he doesn't care if his mom is there or not. I don't want to start a feud. How can I make things work?

I know this makes him sound 'groomzilla' like, but he isn't. He is just stubborn sometimes.

Wzz

i'd be annoyed also, if i told my parents my wedding date, and they went and booked a vacation for that date expecting me to just change it.

have you guys put deposits down that you will ose if you change it? if you did, is his mom willing to change the date for her cruise?

i wouldn't worry about a feud, really. let your FI handle his mom. maybe this is how she is and that's why he is being stubborn. be happy he is sticking to his promise to you rather than bending over backwards to please his mom. who knows if you guys do change it, that she'll be available for the next date.

Pumpkin&Hunny

We haven't put deposits on anything yet, but we have booked things. I have a lot of creative friends and family, and they are taking care of a lot, like photography, reception venue, and food.  I have known his mom for about 7 years, and she is pretty bipolar. I know he just cares about his dad being there, but I am afraid his father would try to stand with his mom on this one. He is not going on the cruise. I think she is booking it with friends. As far as I have heard, they haven't booked anything yet, they are just planning to.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_date-changehelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:dcad4b20-01d5-4ea9-883c-608484b1997ePost:00a48e90-9df2-4f77-a008-edd7b1f12ab0">Date change...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I finally reset our date, 4 years after we had to cancel our original date. He has his heart set on this date, and since it is finally something he decided without me pushing him into it, I am all for it. We told his parents what date we picked, and suddenly last night, his mom decided she can't make it, she is going on a cruise. My fiance said he is not going to push it back at all. She suggested to move it up a month. He got angry at that and said he didn't want to move it. I know he doesn't want to do that, he is stubborn. I tried to talk to him about it, but he won't budge. He said he doesn't care if his mom is there or not. I don't want to start a feud. How can I make things work? I know this makes him sound 'groomzilla' like, but he isn't. He is just stubborn sometimes.
Posted by Pumpkin&Hunny[/QUOTE]

i'm nebby and want to know why the wedding was pushed back FOUR years.

I'm betting there is a lot more going on here - like his mom doen't approve of the relationship /wedding and this is her way of showing it.

did you check potential dates with family/key guests before you began booking? The cruise planning may have begun prior to the two of you announcing a date. You can't expect folks to put their lives on hold while you wait four years to re-plan a wedding.

this is your FI's call, provided you support whatever decision he makes - if he wants the date, and will take it knowing that his mom may decide not to come, let him make that decision.

Wzz

sometimes moms are just selfish biotches, though, who only care about themselves.

i agree with barbie, this is your FI's call to decide if it is or is not important to plan for his mom to be there.

Pumpkin&Hunny

We had to push it back 4 years because we both lost our jobs within a month of each other, and lost our house. We decided to wait until we were back on our feet again before moving forward with a wedding we would not be able to pay for.

Also, his mom has no problem whatsoever with our relationship. She gifted us land on her property to build a house on (if we want) and we get along just fine. So there is no issue between the two of us. She wants my fiance to be a momma's boy and he doesn't not want that, he is no where near being it either.

NeedWeddingFavors

There are a few factors missing here, how much notice did you give her before the date you get married? Did she schedule the cruise before you told her about the date? Either way, let FI handle it.

She sounds like she doesn't want to lose her son, she may have given you land, but it seems she gave him land, not necessarily you....