Do I make her a bridesmaid??

live2sing

I am just recently engaged and am having a VERY tough time with my wedding party decision.So tough that I have been crying on and off about it lol. Basically there are only 4 possible people that my fiance wants on his side and originally I only wanted even numbers but I have changed my mind and have now ended up with five and having my youngest sister walking our dog down. However I had a lot of ppl to consider when choosing my wedding party and 2 of the spots went to my step sisters and the other 3 spots for friends. I have another friend though who I used to be extremely close with and I was just in her wedding party in february and didn't even expect to be but I am having a tough time deciding if I should put her in mine or not so then I would have 6 and my fiance would have 4 and that really bugs me! I have been in 4 wedding parties and have only put 1 person in mine whos wedding I was in and I am ok with that, its just when it comes to this one friend that it reaslly bothers me!Our friendship isn't what it used to be and it makes me really sad because I do love her a lot I just don't feel she is as close to me as she once was and I want her to be so bad but she has changed since she met her recent husband.  I have already asked the other 5 girls to be in my wedding and I know they are all very important to me and I wouldn't change it, It jsut don't know what to do about my other friend. It doesn't help either that there used to be four of us that were so close and she was one of them and the other 2 are in my wedding and I was the only one she put in hers out of all of us, so I think that adds extra guilt. She just hasn't proven to be the best friend over the last couple years but I don't think she realizes it and I am stuck holding on to the old her that I used to love so much and wanting that friendship back. Out of all of the girls I have drifted most away from her and become closer to the other ones, yet it still really upsets me to not include her! I am someone who HATES hurting other ppls feelings sometimes at the cost of my own so I am trying to focus and remind myself that I don't want to regret any decisions. My fiance thinks it would be a bad decision to put her in because we never see each other anymore and she always cancels but for some reason i can't let go of our old relationship and the fact that I will hurt her feelings.

I guess what I really need advice on is do you think I am just feeling guilty  and maybe thats why I want to put her in or does it make sense to put her in? I also don't like the idea of 6 ppl but I do value her friendship so are there other ways to include her possibly if I decide to just stay with 5? Any advice would be so appreciated as I have myself WAY too worked up about this! lol

SilverLining1

First of all, being in the wedding party is not the end-all, be-all of friendships. Putting her in the wedding party will not heal the friendship. Not putting her in will not end the friendship. If I were you, I would not ask her to be in the wedding party. It will probably end up being a source of unnecessary stress for you and for your friendship. If you want, try to reconnect with her, but leave the wedding out of it.

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_her-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:dd1236c6-f6d5-472a-acf9-a5fb810398f2Post:388157d4-2d14-45cb-bb79-27e7e8328875">Do I make her a bridesmaid??</a>:
[QUOTE]I am just recently engaged and am having a VERY tough time with my wedding party decision.So tough that I have been crying on and off about it lol. Basically there are only 4 possible people that my fiance wants on his side and originally I only wanted even numbers but I have changed my mind and have now ended up with five and<strong> having my youngest sister walking our dog down.</strong> However I had a lot of ppl to consider when choosing my wedding party and 2 of the spots went to my step sisters and the other 3 spots for friends. I have another friend though who I used to be extremely close with and I was just in her wedding party in february and didn't even expect to be but I am having a tough time deciding if I should put her in mine or not so then I would have 6 and my fiance would have 4 and that really bugs me! I have been in 4 wedding parties and have only put 1 person in mine whos wedding I was in and I am ok with that, its just when it comes to this one friend that it reaslly bothers me!Our friendship isn't what it used to be and it makes me really sad because I do love her a lot I just don't feel she is as close to me as she once was and I want her to be so bad but she has changed since she met her recent husband.  I have already asked the other 5 girls to be in my wedding and I know they are all very important to me and I wouldn't change it, It jsut don't know what to do about my other friend. It doesn't help either that there used to be four of us that were so close and she was one of them and the other 2 are in my wedding and I was the only one she put in hers out of all of us, so I think that adds extra guilt. She just hasn't proven to be the best friend over the last couple years but I don't think she realizes it and I am stuck holding on to the old her that I used to love so much and wanting that friendship back. Out of all of the girls I have drifted most away from her and become closer to the other ones, yet it still really upsets me to not include her! I am someone who HATES hurting other ppls feelings sometimes at the cost of my own so I am trying to focus and remind myself that I don't want to regret any decisions. My fiance thinks it would be a bad decision to put her in because we never see each other anymore and she always cancels but for some reason i can't let go of our old relationship and the fact that I will hurt her feelings. I guess what I really need advice on is do you think I am just feeling guilty  and maybe thats why I want to put her in or does it make sense to put her in? I also don't like the idea of 6 ppl but I do value her friendship so are there other ways to include her possibly if I decide to just stay with 5? Any advice would be so appreciated as I have myself WAY too worked up about this! lol
Posted by live2sing[/QUOTE]
Just gonna leave that here. HEE. 

artbyallie

Paragraphs, please. I honestly cannot read that wall of text. I did see the dog part, though. Dogs don't belong in weddings because of all the things that can go wrong.