Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP

DanielleGruber

So my finace's siblings all have a tradition that on the night of the wedding or the honeymoon they either steal a key or break into the newlywed's home. Needless to say I am not interested in this happening. We have an apartment but we arent living there yet. I have my keys in a safe place (not on my key ring) and I even have my finance's too. I called my apartment's office and warned them that his siblings will probably try to break into our home. They will try to keep a watch out for them they said. However I am still worried and I am loosing sleep over this... I have tried talking to them and they just think its funny. My finace and I do not have a lot of money to fix or buy new things after they break ours. My finace's parents are even in on it and they were trying to get my finace to give them a key to our place. I just dont know what to do to get them to understand that I find this very disrespectful and rude. Its our home, its our private place! Any ideas girls??

ReturnOfKuus

It had better damn well be the siblings' tradition to pay for all new stuff.  Otherwise, have a trustworthy NRA member apartment-sit for you.

PMeg819

If they trash the house, then call the cops. Tell the cops exactly what your ILs plans were and they can punish accordingly.

DanielleGruber

I totally do want to do that but my fear is that I now have to spend major holidays with these people... I dont want to hate them and I dont want them to hate me! Its so hard!


n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:dd8277be-c68a-4d20-a5d3-a764809d1a07">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]If they trash the house, then call the cops. Tell the cops exactly what your ILs plans were and they can punish accordingly.
Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]

[Deleted User]

What? How is this even a thing? Who thinks it is funny to destroy someone's home? 

What does your fiance say about this?  It kind of sounds like he is going along. 

You need to make it very clear to his family that if they break into your home, you will be call the police.  Period. 

tawillers

How old are these people?

What do you mean by "break in"?  If they don't have a key, they'll break a window?  Bust down the door?

And they actually break things?  Not just TP the place? <not that that would be cool, either.

This sounds obnoxious.  Your FI needs to give them a serious hell no.  Your apartment manager cannot sit outside your place for weeks making sure they don't show up.

ReturnOfKuus

You will hate them if they break into your home, whether you call the cops or not.  The only thing you have control over here is whether you make their actions have consequences for them.

DanielleGruber

Yeah when his sister asked my sister to steal my keys she said no. Then my fiance's sister called him saying that she is upset and her feelings are hurt. I dont really care that they are hurt... no means no. I think I will just have to be upfront with his sisters and let them know that if they break in I will handle it legally.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:cbd6542b-640b-4e1b-8621-3b93aa85408d">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]What? How is this even a thing? Who thinks it is funny to destroy someone's home?  What does your fiance say about this?  It kind of sounds like he is going along.  You need to make it very clear to his family that if they break into your home, you will be call the police.  Period. 
Posted by mscalibride[/QUOTE]

*Barbie*

let it be known that the cops will be called.

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:c9853359-4e65-4405-857d-4c0179f80aae">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally do want to do that but my fear is that I now have to spend major holidays with these people... I dont want to hate them and I dont want them to hate me! Its so hard! n Response to Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP :
Posted by DanielleGruber[/QUOTE]

You don't want them to hate you, yet you don't care that you'll hate them if they do this?  What's the difference?  You won't have fun at holidays with the douchebags anyway.

ReturnOfKuus

Or you could let them be surprised.

Could you get an alarm system installed in your apartment, with motion sensors and whatnot?

PMeg819

Why do you have to say anything? Tell your husband to speak to them as well. It needs to come from both of you that this is not cool.

PMeg819

Also, this is the most redneck thing I have ever heard of. Who trashes someone's house after their wedding?

DanielleGruber

Yeah ... My finace is now telling me that I should apologise for hurting his sisters feelings. I havent even spoken with her about this at all. Only my sister has told her no. This is just so screwed up!

ReturnOfKuus

You should apologize for not wanting his sister to break in and trash your home?

If this is real, then I'd be calling off the wedding if I were you.

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:616c1946-4efd-4a25-8678-16cb68a06b94">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah ... My finace is now telling me that I should apologise for hurting his sisters feelings. I havent even spoken with her about this at all. Only my sister has told her no. This is just so screwed up!
Posted by DanielleGruber[/QUOTE]

Ahhh, you're in for a lifetime of your DH siding with his family.  Enjoy that.

**O-Face**

I'm with Taw.  This whole thing *waves hand* is a giant cluster of stupidity.

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:b128333f-e755-4a05-a733-ca3f6e3a781b">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Or you could let them be surprised. Could you get an alarm system installed in your apartment, with motion sensors and whatnot?
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

I second the alarm idea.


[QUOTE]Also, this is the most redneck thing I have ever heard of. Who trashes someone's house after their wedding?
Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]

Seriously.  My mom CLEANED my house while we were on our honeymoon.  She didn't even have to break in to do it.

hmonkey

i agree with pmeg.  this is the most WT thing i have heard of (today).

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sibling-tradition-to-trash-the-newlyweds-home-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:de112615-408f-4bbf-8c7e-371b69408195Post:2f879668-015c-4cff-ad48-dfed28f74078">Re: Sibling Tradition to Trash the Newlyweds home... HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]i agree with pmeg.  this is the most WT thing i have heard of (today).
Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

I third this. 

And my SIL cleaned our house while we were on our HM.  It was the most amazing thing to come home to a clean house.

6fsn

You and DH speak together and follow through.

My mom talked about this happening when she was getting married in the mid 60's.  It was never breaking things, just minor pranks- short sheeting the bed. salt in the sugar bowl stuff.  I've never heard of it being real though.

DanielleGruber

Thanks eveyone... It makes me feel better to know I am not nuts for thinking this is super wrong

ootmother2

Hire a professional guard for that period of time.

Send them the bill

dplett

Our area has a tradition similar to this.  Except no one 'trashes' the house.  Its just a few practical jokes.  Generally people know the couple really well and know how much to do or not do.  We came home to no cupboard or interior doors, frozen underwear (his, not mine) and a few other things.  We found it amusing.  However, people also know that if they do it to someone they can't expect to not have anything done to them.  If you give you must take. 
Did your FI take part in trashing his sibling's homes??  If he did, I'd expect something (not saying its right or wrong) but maybe his siblings fiances felt the same way you do.

Wzz

it's not wrong to not want your home trashed.

it is VERY wrong that your FI thinks you hurt his sister's feelings.

you can get an alarm at home depot to put inside the front door that will go off with a sensor. put it in a spot only YOU know it is so you can turn it off when you get hoe from your honeymoon.

and hells yes, i would call the cops. screw that. they dont care about your feelings, so you need to be the one to care.

last, i want to know what the definition of "trash the house" is. is it to completely ruin? it is to tape condoms to the TV in the livingroom? (not that it matters if you just dont want people going into your home) i cannot believe that it is a real thing to break someone's belongings, and it is so popular that it's a tradition people look forward to.

NOLABridesmaid

Y'all knew I read this and knew it involved a bunch of pale people.

This is a good way to catch a case. Heck, people kill family members over fb comments.

zsazsa-stl

I've heard of pranks like removing the labels from their canned goods, etc.  But nothing as mean as breaking things.  When my brother and SIL got married we had to haul a bunch of stuff back to their apartment.  They were staying in a hotel that night and weren't there and wouldn't be coming back until the next day, so we took the opportunity to put a few dozen balloons in their bedroom, write notes on their chalkboard, etc.  But we didn't even do anything as mean as filling the ballloons with confetti.  Because we weren't jerks.

Wzz

dying at pale people. this reminds me of dave chapelle's stand up regarding white people, a carrot, and a drunk friend.

tawillers

FVCK CARROTS!

Wzz

lol, taw, exactly.

flower_diva

your husband has got to support you on this. Formally put everyone on notice.....if they break in and trash the house,the police will be called......their choice.   and if your husband does not get some balls and stand up to his family and put you firist.......you need to RUN LIKE HELL .
JMO