Wedding Woes

My baby is a lard ass!

I went to the midwife yesterday to get my belly measured and pee in the cup. I asked if she could make an estimate on the size of the baby. She said that she thought he was about 7 1/2 pounds, give or take a pound. If he continues to gain 1/2 a pound a week, which he should, and I go to my due date...I could be looking at a 9 1/2 pounder.

DH was proud. I don't know why. He's gonna have a fat baby to carry around and a vagina to screw for the next 80 years that will be wrecked beyond belief if I give birth vaginally.

Re: My baby is a lard ass!

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_baby-lard-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:df2e8f81-f555-4321-937d-aede0a80468ePost:3bc97582-0b9d-44a7-9eca-1619a1d15f01">Re: My baby is a lard ass!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is this a serious post?  If so, I fear for the well-being of your soon-to-be BEAUTIFUL child.  If you're biggest concern about having a child is your vagina, you have another thing coming to you once it's here.
    Posted by strawberriquen[/QUOTE]

    Bwahahahahahaha!
  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    OMFG, you are the biggest effing moron ever. Of course I love my son. I don't care how big he is or what he does to me. If I cared that much, I wouldn't have bothered getting pregnant in the first place. Go STFU and learn to lurk better.
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_baby-lard-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:df2e8f81-f555-4321-937d-aede0a80468ePost:3bc97582-0b9d-44a7-9eca-1619a1d15f01">Re: My baby is a lard ass!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is this a serious post?  If so, I fear for the well-being of your soon-to-be BEAUTIFUL child.  If you're biggest concern about having a child is your vagina, you have another thing coming to you once it's here.
    Posted by strawberriquen[/QUOTE]

    <div>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! </div><div>
    </div><div>I love it when they don't lurk. Excellent.</div><div>
    </div><div>Meg, I bet we can find you a diet so that baby comes out slim and trim! Nobody likes a fatty baby; let's nip it in the bud before he's even born!</div>
    image
  • edited December 2011
    ha-ha!
    ::pours one out for pmeg's giant vag::
    image
  • edited December 2011
    You'll have meat curtains to rival Nico's
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_baby-lard-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:df2e8f81-f555-4321-937d-aede0a80468ePost:3bc97582-0b9d-44a7-9eca-1619a1d15f01">Re: My baby is a lard ass!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is this a serious post?  If so, I fear for the well-being of your soon-to-be BEAUTIFUL child.  If you're biggest concern about having a child is your vagina, you have another thing coming to you once it's here.
    Posted by strawberriquen[/QUOTE]



    <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'e1694d53-c84b-4e8c-b260-ffeb4555ea5e', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/2/e1694d53-c84b-4e8c-b260-ffeb4555ea5e.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited December 2011

    Everyone knows we hate fat babies around here. All WW babies are on a strict diet and must stay under 20lbs until the age of three.

    image
  • E SquaredE Squared member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    Hey, they can tighten it up if needed.
    image
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I was horribly worried about my vanjaya. That's why I had 2 elective c-sections.  By extension, I think we can discern that I am a horrible mother and my children are DOOMED!

    (Note - this is not why I had elective c-sections.)

    PMeg - they can be WAY off on those things.  Baby ARM might be as much as 11 pounds or even more!  HTH!

    image
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I will most likely have C sections, specifically so my vajayjay is always in one piece. Or... because the women in my family have a history of not dilating.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011



    Hmo's baby is looking at Pmeg's baby all WTF, why are you SO FAT! Hahahaha!
    .
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow.  I'm glad you guys C&Pd that otherwise I would have thought you were all crazy.

    I've heard PAM helps the baby pass painlessly. 
    image
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    But rolls are so cuuuuuute. 
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Lurker FAIL x 1000

    PMeg, I'm sorry to hear about your monstrous fucktrophy.  I hope you learn to be a good mom soon.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards