I want to see if anyone else thinks this is as weird as I do.

ReturnOfKuus

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SHUNTERVAS...

Joined on 11-29-2011

1 Posts

33 Points

HELP

I have 2 Teenagers,19 & 16., I have been dating my BF for 2 years, and recently he has moved in.. As long as he was not there they got along great but snce he has been there all time they cant do all the things that they used too. like sleep in my room and just walk in my room. 

 

I admit that I am a bit laxed when it comes to rules, so when they overstep the boundaries I correct them and be done with it, but he gets upset that I don't scold them or punish them. He has no kids at all and we are always disagreeing about how I shoud discipline my kids, Because his mom did it to him and his siblings.

 

I really care for him but if he don't leave me alone about dicspling my kids he might find himself on the other side of the door.

 

 

 

What stood out to you about this?

 

MLincoln17

Walking into her bedroom whenever and sleeping in the bed at 16 and 19 years old

AuntFlo

I think it's funny that the guy thinks he can switch up the way the mom disciplines 16 and 19 year olds.

mrsconn23

Besides the bad spelling and grammar?

She writes like a teenager herself.   And her kids sleep in her bed and have no boundaries whatsoever when it comes to her space, which she doesn't mind. 

I wonder if the kid are walking in on her and the BF having sex?  That would be very off-putting.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_want-see-anyone-else-thinks-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:dfbc4b3d-4081-4624-a914-9c4a1767255fPost:a4036650-f65e-4777-8854-67c0482f7de9">Re: I want to see if anyone else thinks this is as weird as I do.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's funny that the guy thinks he can switch up the way the mom disciplines 16 and 19 year olds.
Posted by AuntFlo[/QUOTE]


There's that too.   I wonder if he never spent any time at her house until he moved in.

ReturnOfKuus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_want-see-anyone-else-thinks-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:dfbc4b3d-4081-4624-a914-9c4a1767255fPost:f348e585-02dd-4d9e-be82-6a92bf3ffc6d">Re: I want to see if anyone else thinks this is as weird as I do.</a>:
[QUOTE]Walking into her bedroom whenever and sleeping in the bed at 16 and 19 years old
Posted by MLincoln17[/QUOTE]


That's the one that struck me.

AuntFlo

As the teenage daughter of a single mom, I would walk into her room whenever I wanted, and even sleep in there if I wanted or she wanted - -not that that was often because I hated her (:::slam door:::) when I was a teenager.  BUT NEVER IF SHE HAD A GUY OVER!!!!!!   NEVER!!!!

I'm wondering if she has boys or girls or one of each.   I can see boys doing that as a alpha male kind of move.

NeedFavors

What stuck out to me was the disclipine part. It takes two for a relationship to work. She needs to make it clear to her teenage kids that things have changed and they need to respect her and her bf's space, but the bf needs to respect the way she is raising her kids.

abcflower

You should have discussed how you would be handling discipling your children before moving him in, just so he would be clear about it. To be sure, the big factor is this case is the age of your children; as teenagers, they are less inclined to acknowledge him as a 'father figure' and it is more likely that you were supposed to be the sole parent figure. Certainly, he didn't join the family with the expectation of him playing the dad role, did he? 
 
While it is reasonable for him to expect privacy in his own home - which is now with you - it is unreasonable for him to expect to have a say in telling you how to discipline your children. If he doesn't like it, he can by all means express his concerns, but in the end he should express it once and then keep his opinions to himself. They are you children, not the two of yours, and it is your right to raise them as you see fit.