Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Guest List

Bride2Bee2011Bride2Bee2011 member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
OooohKay-

My fiance' and I have been fighting about the stupid guest list for MONTHS... He wants to invite 100 people for each side. That's to many for me (any my parents). My parents (who are footing the bill for the wedding) say 80 each. That gives us 160 possible guests, fine with me. Not with him. We have had shouting matches about this! Its crazy and I can't handle it. Its the only thing we've had to discuss concerning the wedding. Me Vs. Him. Us Vs My Parents. My side Vs His side. CRAZY!  Dad is getting ready to basically say to him "it is what it is, deal with it" and I'm pretty sure that won't go over well. Any suggestions (minus physical harm as I do still want to marry him) would be appreciated!


Report Reply to Post

Re: Guest List

  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e181a1e7-7361-41b7-9280-2f26c1caab1dPost:f2e88d8b-ec14-4b68-a46d-de1dd37bfe2c">Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]OooohKay- My fiance' and I have been fighting about the stupid guest list for MONTHS... He wants to invite 100 people for each side. That's to many for me (any my parents). My parents (who are footing the bill for the wedding) say 80 each. That gives us 160 possible guests, fine with me. Not with him. We have had shouting matches about this! Its crazy and I can't handle it. Its the only thing we've had to discuss concerning the wedding. Me Vs. Him. Us Vs My Parents. My side Vs His side. CRAZY!  Dad is getting ready to basically say to him "it is what it is, deal with it" and I'm pretty sure that won't go over well. Any suggestions (minus physical harm as I do still want to marry him) would be appreciated!
    Posted by Bride2Bee2011[/QUOTE]
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    1) he sounds awesome.  don't let him get away.

    2) suggest that he offer to foot the bill for the additional 40 he wants, if it's that important to him.
    image
    Report Reply
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Really? You still want to marry someone who's this pig-headed over a gift? 

    He sounds like a jerk. I'd get a new fiance - someone who doesn't think it's appropriate to dictate a gift to the giver, for one. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Tell your FI that if he wants to pay for the extra guests, fine.  If not, then he needs to defer to those who are paying.  If he still throws tantrums, I'd dump him.
    �
    Report Reply
  • katorigasukikatorigasuki
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    yeah, shouting matches over something as trivial as a guest list are not the keys to a happy marriage.

    i'd re-think him, and the wedding.
    Report Reply
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    btw, what are his arguments for having 100 on each side?  or does he think that if he shouts loud and long enough that either you or your parents will give in?
    image
    Report Reply
  • Bride2Bee2011Bride2Bee2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He doesn't have a problem offering to pay for the extra guests. My parents simply won't allow us or my fiance''s parents to give money. I guess its a pride thing. He wants to be sure that we each have the opportunity to have all of our special people be invited to our big day. We both have large families. At the moment my guest list is at 92 people! His is at 100. We both would have to cut out people we care about.
    Report Reply
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Then talk to your parents and tell them you want more and will foot the bill.  Expect a fight, because obviously you know it's coming.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Bride2Bee2011Bride2Bee2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We let them know. As of about 2 minutes ago- Dad was preparing to have a "talk" with the FI at some point in the near future... We'll see who's thunder is stronger when that happens.
    Report Reply
  • katorigasukikatorigasuki
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e181a1e7-7361-41b7-9280-2f26c1caab1dPost:89bb6447-5fa4-4834-8ac8-8d2cda6e2e06">Re: Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]We let them know. As of about 2 minutes ago- Dad was preparing to have a "talk" with the FI at some point in the near future... We'll see who's thunder is stronger when that happens.
    Posted by Bride2Bee2011[/QUOTE]

    and this is where you need to stand behind FI.  you can't let your dad bully him around because your FI is now your priority.
    Report Reply
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't think offering to pay for extra guests is okay either. Tell your fiance to grow the f up. Or marry a man that doesn't need to be told.
    photo DSC_2244copy.jpg
    Crap...I Mean Crafts
    Report Reply
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    td makes a good point -- if your father declines the offer, can your fi accept that graciously?  or do you think he will also get into a shouting match with his fil?

    and how would that work out for you?
    image
    Report Reply
  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How do you know that your 92 invitees, and your fiance's 100 invitees will all accept to come to your wedding/reception?  I'm sure there will be declines.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
    Report Reply
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    kpwedkk, that is stupid.  please do not post ever again.
    image
    Report Reply
  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e181a1e7-7361-41b7-9280-2f26c1caab1dPost:828345a5-38eb-4965-809c-955a550e7be8">Re: Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]kpwedkk, that is stupid.  please do not post ever again.
    Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, let's invite over the budget and hope and pray that people don't come. That is excellent financial planning advice.</div>
    Report Reply
  • Bride2Bee2011Bride2Bee2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    well- looks like the parents are coming over whent he FI gets home tongiht. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Regardless of the outcome I suppose it will be over soon enough. He'll have to accept 'graciously' or get married at the court house...
    Report Reply
  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e181a1e7-7361-41b7-9280-2f26c1caab1dPost:c8bc852a-eaf3-4c37-90a3-80c8edecbf05">Re: Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]well- looks like the parents are coming over whent he FI gets home tongiht. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Regardless of the outcome I suppose it will be over soon enough. He'll have to accept 'graciously' or get married at the court house...
    Posted by Bride2Bee2011[/QUOTE]

    <div>Keep your cool, discuss this like adults, no need to shout, yell or whine.</div>
    Report Reply
  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Or wait and pay for your own wedding so that you can have the number of guests you want - instead of having your parents pay for it.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards