Mother of the Groom Won't be at Shower

rachelcut

So, my mom wanted to help with the bridal shower, talked with the bridesmaids and maid of honor, and put money down on a place, nonrefundable. Turns out the mother of the groom won't be able to attend because she's going on vacation.

I, the bride, am kinda peeved. I really want her to be there. I want to start meshing these two sides of my life. I feel like by having both the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom together, it will start to go together.

My bridesmaids and my mother have tried to change the date but the place is booked. If we back out my mom will lose her deposit.

What should I do? Do I have a right to be a little upset about this? Will it even matter?

loveshine1

Consider yourself lucky and move on. HTH!

But seriously, the woman made vacation plans probably before she knew when your shower was going to be. She isn't going to change them because of your shower.

jerseydevil

That's a bummer, but life goes on. Keep the date that your mom booked and enjoy a FMIL free event! Of anyone else from his side that you invite, think of it as an opportunity to get to know them better, since I'm sure most of your interactions with his family will be with his parents.

MinM

Talk to your MIL next time you start BEFORE you start putting money down, so if she wants to go she can. Don't assume she'll want to go.

zsazsa-stl

Most of my friends and family seem to marry people with family far away from their own family.  There is no meshing and it all works out just fine.

*Barbie*

my mom didn't even come to my shower (thrown by MIL). it was not a big deal. she would have had to drive 300ish miles to get there - so not worth it. they met for the first time at the rehersal.

McKenna2012

I don't see the big deal.  Her vacation is probably more important to her than your shower, just like your shower is more important to you than her vacation.

k&t2011

Did you talk to her about the date before you booked the place?  If not, I really don't think you can be mad that she already had a vacation planned.  I was a bridesmaid and I paid for a non-refundable vacation and then two weeks before my vacation, the bride informed me about a bridal shower.  I didn't go to the shower. 

MeganJune11

I would be upset too! My mother in law doesn't really want to come to mine but I expressed how important it was to me that she would come!
But however if she has this vacation that she planned WAY before you even set a date then there is a miscommunication that needs to be expressed with your mother-in-law and maybe you should express the fact that you really wanted he to come and sorry that she couldn't make it but maybe you, your mother, and your mother-in-law can all go out to lunch or get your hair done or something like that.
Either way I think it's a miscommunication between both of you.

Megan

Jennifer102011

Count your blessings! Mine wanted me to change the date because FI has 2 cousins due the month that my shower is. It's not the 1st baby for either one of them.