Wedding Woes

silbing food

maybe i come from rude stock, but i know my siblings wouldn't have a problem slapping imported cheese out of my hand and handing me a block of Kraft instead.

Dear Amy: When my husband and I first moved in together a couple of years ago, my sister "Tandy" came over one day and asked if she could have a soda. I told her that she is family and does not have to ask — she can help herself to anything.

Now, whenever Tandy comes over she immediately raids the fridge and pantry! She will drink six sodas in a visit and eat an entire bag of chips, leaving none for us.

Once she melted down a brick of expensive, imported cheese to make nachos, which she ended up wasting because she didn't like the flavor of the cheese.

Tandy is eating us out of house and home!

I know I told her she could help herself, but I feel like she is taking advantage of my offer and being unreasonable.

This is especially annoying to my husband. He's a picky eater, and most of what she eats is the food he specifically bought to consume.

Tandy's behavior is causing friction, but I have begged him not to say anything to her.

I have tried dropping every hint imaginable, but Tandy does not pick up on social cues.

I know that I have to be direct, but I do not want to create any drama.

My husband will lose it if I don't nip this in the bud.

How can I handle this?

— Starving Sister
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Re: silbing food

  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Tandy sounds like a real peice of work. Who the hell drinks six sodas in one visit?


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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    A padlock on the fridge is a hint she can't ignore.
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Why do they keep inviting her over?  
    And yes, my brother would give me crap about doing stuff like that and vice versa.
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    "don't stand on ceremony, help yourself to pop" does NTO mean "eat whatever you find.

    I feel free to raid fridges in my family--to say we'r elaid back about such things is a serious understatement.  But it would be weird NOT to ask before melting cheese to make nachos.

    Although I wonder if theyr'e inviting Tandy over and not feeding her--why else would she be cooking nachos at their house?
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Tandy is a piece of work.

    I have no problem saying "help yourself to everything except x,y,z."  Usually that's only if it's something I have a planned use for.  I have been known to hide things though.  I buy goldfish as a treat for 6let.  Last time sis was here they ate them all.  I don't really care other then I didn't have any next time the kid wanted some.

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Tandy sounds like a steamroller, but LW sounds like a doormat. It takes hours to consume 6 sodas and some time and energy to put together nachos - why isn't LW offering food and drink if Tandy's there for so long? Sure, Tandy's kind of a mooch, but if I were hungry and no one offered me anything except that I help myself to the fridge, I guess I'd be cooking, too. 

    Everyone in this family needs to use their words. 
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