Sad feelings about my wedding

tweber510

So I'm not really sure where to talk about this on these boards so I thought I'd try here. 

My mom passed away in december 2010 in  Jan I got engaged. Before my mom passed My FI and I told her we would be getting married so that she knew that I was happy. I am religious so I do believe that my mom is with me in spirite or watching over me or however you want put it, but lately I've been feeling like planning this wedding is imposible to do without her. 

My FI tries and he's very sweet about it but he doesn't really understand where I'm coming from and I don't have any friends who have lost a parent. So I've been going along trying to do things with my dad and wishing my mom was here to see it. Like I know she would love our venue and she'd be there when the stress got too much to tell me it's ok. 

I guess I just needed to get that out. Sorry if it didn't make sense....

ElleB87

Hey,

So sorry for your loss first of all! Have you tried going to greif counseling? I'm sure your FI is sympathetic to your mothers passing but unless he has lost a parent or someone else he was exceptionally close to he can't completely understand.  A loss support group could help because it would be a room full of people who know exactly what you are going through.  The loss of a close friend or relative is traumatic and you need to let yourself go through the grieving process and I can definitely see this being extra difficult given where you are at in life.  Best of luck to you!

EmilyAhna

I know how you feel. I'm adopted but my mom who I didn't live with but loved and still love, passed away suddenly in 2009. It's hard but the good thing is you know that she would've loved everything! You can even incorperate some of her favorites. Like her favorite flowers, that's what I'm doing, or her favorite song or color. At the wedding you could have an empty chair for her and put a flower down on it before your dad gives you away in her honor. Or carry a photo of her with you down the asile. Or wear some of her jewelry so that you feel like she's right there with you the entire time. Also maybe talk to your dad about it... If your mom had a sister, she could help with the planning.

It's hard but the good thing is you know she would've loved every bit of it!

kmmssg

Maybe it's just too soon and postponing for a bit would be better.  I lost my mom when I was little and I'm a MOB now.  i've been married twice and I missed her desperately both times.

Do you think some more time to grieve and adjust a little bit would be helpful?