My Sister is Stealing Our Date!

atbradshaw

My finace and I decided to get married 12-13-14, cute right? He's in nursing school so that's about the only time we have to have a stress-free (study free) honeymoon. We've vocalized our date to the family but because it's so far out we haven't made any plans. Well my eldest sister is about to get engaged and she said she wants that date - and get this, my family is taking her side. Why? I don't know but I'm livid. Also, they keep making fun of my ring. Eveyone says I'm copying Kate Midd. and that it looks like we can't afford a diamond. =( My family is not the most suppoetive bunch.

BTW, not to brag but that's a 1c, raw African sapphire, we got an amazing deal and I am so blessed that he saved up to buy me something so lovely.

**update - it wasn't aquried illegally, people should know the African sppahire from the African diamond. The sapphires are mined appropriatly. Raw in a sapphire means it's not color treated nor heated. Brought it up only to say it looks like an engagement ring - since I can't remove this post, I thought I'd try to reclarify things.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:eb07d1aa-9a1a-4391-b8aa-a56870a6a453">My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]My finace and I decided to get married 12-13-14, cute right? He's in nursing school so that's about the only time we have to have a stress-free (study free) honeymoon. We've vocalized our date to the family but because it's so far out we haven't made any plans. Well my eldest sister is about to get engaged and she said she wants that date - and get this, my family is taking her side. Why? I don't know but I'm livid. Also, they keep making fun of my ring. Eveyone says I'm copying Kate Midd. and that it looks like we can't afford a diamond. =( My family is not the most suppoetive bunch. <strong>BTW, not to brag but that's a 1k, raw African saphire...</strong>
Posted by atbradshaw[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>To the bolded - that's definitely bragging. No one really cares. Stop sharing wedding details with these people. Just start making plans and booking venues and vendors and go on your merry way. When you actually book your venue, then tell your family. If she books something the same day as you, that's her problem. Yes this is a shitty thing for her to do and I'm sorry for that. But there's really not much you can do about it. Hell, you might be better off without these asses at your wedding. </div>

ScrubGirl83

Who the frick cares if they don't like your ring?! Do YOU like your ring? If you do that's all that matters! I don't have a diamond either, but I love it. Wouldn't change it. My FI and I picked it out together and to hell with what anyone else says.

As to your date, why not try having a conversation with your sister? Did she know about you choosing this date beforehand? Just talk to her. Tell her you had it first, and you're engaged as opposed to "about to be engaged". Try to work something out with her in a calm and not tantrumish way.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:eb07d1aa-9a1a-4391-b8aa-a56870a6a453">My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>My finace and I decided to get married 12-13-14, cute right?</strong> He's in nursing school so that's about the only time we have to have a stress-free (study free) honeymoon. We've vocalized our date to the family but because it's so far out we haven't made any plans. Well my eldest sister is about to get engaged and she said she wants that date - and get this, my family is taking her side. Why? I don't know but I'm livid. Also, they keep making fun of my ring. Eveyone says I'm copying Kate Midd. and that it looks like we can't afford a diamond. =( My family is not the most suppoetive bunch.<strong> BTW, not to brag but that's a 1k, raw African saphire...</strong>
Posted by atbradshaw[/QUOTE]

<div>Not really cute, no. In fact, I find it eye roll worthy when people do that.  If you want that date, I suggest you start making actual plans. While it's kind of sh!tty of your sister to pick it knowing you want it, until you actually DO something, it's just a date. And that IS bragging.  All that matters is if you like your ring, not what anybody else thinks of it. </div>

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:eb07d1aa-9a1a-4391-b8aa-a56870a6a453">My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]BTW, not to brag but that's a 1k, raw African saphire...
Posted by atbradshaw[/QUOTE]

My only thought is 'wow, you're a b*tch.' If you act that cocky irl, I can see why your family is supporting your sister instead of you.

kerbohl

Umm, hate to go against everyone, but isn't your engagement ring something you should be proud of?  You go ahead and brag - it's gorgeous.  And lots of people (including myself) prefer sapphires to diamonds for an engagement ring, so your family is being a bit ridiculous if they are mocking your ring. 

Wzz

i wonder why the family would mock her and then take the sister's side. if these are the way these people are, they shouldn't be included in any details of the wedidng. none of this makes any sense to me, i feel like the OP is a bit dramatic. i mean, what do you mean when you say they make fun of your ring? when you walk into a room, do they say things like, "oh here comes the kate middleton wannabee! HAHAHAA!!!" and then burst into hysterical laughter every time?

Wzz

also, if you haven't put a deposit on a date, then really you haven't set a date. when you say you "vocalized a date", that could mean anything. until you start sharing the word that you already put deposits on 12/13/14, then it's really up for grabs. if your sister chooses that date and is the type of person to book a wedding on the same day as you, then you have sister issues beyond this wedding business.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:eb07d1aa-9a1a-4391-b8aa-a56870a6a453">My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]BTW, not to brag but that's a 1k, raw African saphire...
Posted by atbradshaw[/QUOTE]

<div>not the ring in your picture....</div><div>1K as in $1000? stones are measured in <strong>C</strong>arats, gold is measured in <strong>K</strong>arats</div><div>also, that's not a raw stone. that stone is cut and polished. </div><div>
</div><div>congrats on your blood sapphire and stupid date. </div>

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:6bb03320-0e24-43af-aa2a-10c6283a4997">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to My Sister is Stealing Our Date! : not the ring in your picture.... 1K as in $1000? stones are measured in C arats, gold is measured in K arats also, that's not a raw stone. that stone is cut and polished.  congrats on your blood sapphire and stupid date. 
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]


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beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:c6d2257c-d28f-463e-b08f-744954163471">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]Umm, hate to go against everyone, but isn't your engagement ring something you should be proud of?  You go ahead and brag - it's gorgeous.  And lots of people (including myself) prefer sapphires to diamonds for an engagement ring, so your family is being a bit ridiculous if they are mocking your ring. 
Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Ehhh...I disagree. Sure, you should be proud of it, but there is a difference between pride and bragging. I roll my eyes at anyone who talks about how big their stones are. I have a 1.5 carat Montana sapphire and I FREAKING LOVE IT but I don't shove it down people's throats. If they ask, sure I give 'em a "Yes! It's a Montana sapphire!" But I'm not waving it around giving details about it. I do agree that it's terrible and shitty of her family to make fun of it (even if it was made out of macaroni, that's not something you make fun of) but maybe they're sick of OP talking about it...</div>

kerbohl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:031652a4-a595-4e05-b1c0-104f2630c27c">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date! : Ehhh...I disagree. Sure, you should be proud of it, but there is a difference between pride and bragging. I roll my eyes at anyone who talks about how big their stones are. I have a 1.5 carat Montana sapphire and I FREAKING LOVE IT but I don't shove it down people's throats. If they ask, sure I give 'em a "Yes! It's a Montana sapphire!" But I'm not waving it around giving details about it. I do agree that it's terrible and shitty of her family to make fun of it (even if it was made out of macaroni, that's not something you make fun of) but maybe they're sick of OP talking about it...
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

You've got a point - there is a fine line between being proud of it and bragging.  I thought OP's comment was more of being proud than bragging, since she has obviously had people insulting her ring already and was just trying to assert that she is indeed happy with what it is.  But it might have come across as bragging . . .
Btw, your ring also sounds very nice.  Is it a blue sapphire?  Sapphires come in so many different colours, but I'm so used to associating the stone with the blue sapphires I'm familiar with. 

lizybeff

So has your sister actually booked the date yet?  If not, go and book it yourself.  You actually don't have that date until you have a ceremony and reception venue.  Also, that date may already be booked up way in advance due to the novelty of "12/13/14".  Something else you could try?  What about the day before 12/12/14 (a Friday).  Of course, it's not a "quirky" date, but you would still have a study free honeymoon.  What makes the day special is that it is your wedding day.  

BTW - I like your ring.  It's pretty mean that your family tells you they don't like your ring.  Seriously, who does that?  

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:9f0c5732-2ec4-43b4-8917-24d795f35ff6">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date! : You've got a point - there is a fine line between being proud of it and bragging.  <strong>I thought OP's comment was more of being proud than bragging, since she has obviously had people insulting her ring already and was just trying to assert that she is indeed happy with what it is.  </strong>But it might have come across as bragging . . . Btw, your ring also sounds very nice.  Is it a blue sapphire?  Sapphires come in so many different colours, but I'm so used to associating the stone with the blue sapphires I'm familiar with. 
Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]

<div>I can see that. And I definitely agree that anyone making fun of it is bullschit. And OP's ring is beautiful. </div><div>
</div><div>Mine is blue, it's more of a teal-turquisey color because I LOVE that color but most of them are very sapphire-y blue. FI and I are getting married in Montana and plan to move there so he said that when he saw that there's sapphires from Montana, he knew it had to be my engagement ring. :)</div><div>
</div>

kerbohl

That's so cool that the ring ties in with where you are getting married!  Your FI is a smart guy!

AJuliaNJ

Right now, the date is fair game. Book it first and it's yours. Until then, no one can take that date seriously as being "yours". She's not even engaged yet. Get a running start if this date is meaningful to you.

I do think it is weird that your sister is saying she wants that date. What is her reason? Is it an anniversary or does she have the same reason as you? Did she know you wanted it? It sounds like she is just picking it because you want it. It is almost 2 years away and not even an ideal time for a wedding. If it's an anniversary or meaningful date for her, I'd consider letting her have it.  If she just wants it because it's "cute", refer back to my first paragraph. The date itself won't have much of an effect on your guests. I would look at the invitation, think to myself, "that's kind of neat," and then forget about it.

mrsbobfilson

i'm at a true loss at some of the rude posters!! I wish I were a moderator!!

Weddings are very expensive,it would be a wonderful event if you both got married together! I could be the weddding you both dream of,financially split the cost.Sit down and try and talk about it rationally.

Good luck...  i am  getting married 12-14-13

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:1c917904-728b-47d6-88de-d3ecc550a92a">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm at a true loss at some of the rude posters!! I wish I were a moderator!! Weddings are very expensive,it would be a wonderful event if you both got married together! I could be the weddding you both dream of,financially split the cost.Sit down and try and talk about it rationally. Good luck...  i am  getting married 12-14-13
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]

<div>What???!!!  I really doubt that sharing a wedding with her sister would make for the wedding of her dreams. </div>

atbradshaw

wow mixed reactions here. Didn't mean to be snotty about the ring, I simply have never owned anything like it before and I only meant it's about the same price as a reasonable engagement ring (just under 4k, nothing over the top). Sorry if that came off rude or to anyone I offended. My sister's rings are 10k+ and we got a good deal on a rare gem, again, I'm just insecure and I know I need to work on it. My sister's a doctor, the other is on Wallstreet and I'm an assistant, you can see my insecurities. As I stated, I'm very insecure and my family has been giving me greif. I love my ring, I just feel comfort in knowing others out there shared similar situations and learn how they overcame them. As to the date, I thought it was cute but I agree it will never be like that agin. Let me phrase it this way - he's in nursing school and has off two times a year - Spring Break & christmas. We've been dating four years and decided we would like to get married next December, since it will be cheaper than a spring honeymoon. My sister knows all of this and she said she wants a december wedding because she's always wanted one. I was engaged first but due to the long wait, decided not to put anything in print and most wedding venues won't let me book 2 years in advance. My family is siding with her because they think she should get her way because her finace is a Missionary, who is coming home that November and oh yes, she met him four months ago. Sorry if I didn't clarify this enough, but hopefully now you see my predicament. 

Tchavon1984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:1c917904-728b-47d6-88de-d3ecc550a92a">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm at a true loss at some of the rude posters!! I wish I were a moderator!! Weddings are very expensive,it would be a wonderful event if you both got married together! I could be the weddding you both dream of,financially split the cost.Sit down and try and talk about it rationally. Good luck...  i am  getting married 12-14-13
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]

I agree I was reading the comments and couldnt figure out why ppl were being so mean she made a statement about her family picking on her ring so she put a pic explaining what the ring was... be proud of ur ring who cares what anyone else thinks or if they think you're bragging when a person first gets engaged whats the first thing they do show you their ring! they dont keep their hands in their pocket until someone asks to see it... I too am planning on getting married 12-13-14 I love numbers so I think its a cool date... good luck with everything hun... but in the end remember the real reason for your day its not the date its not the venue or the glitz and glam its about marrying the love of your life

Tchavon1984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-sister-is-stealing-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ea91240e-56d0-414d-a077-e24ad18f7a1dPost:1893f103-aa25-4513-8c81-5349662ef602">Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Sister is Stealing Our Date! : Sorry to have offended you with my comment. I wasn't trying to shove it in anyone's face, I was simply making the point that it is indeed an enagagemnt ring. And no, I can't stand up for myself around my family, that is my downfall, so all they see is me crying when they say that my fiance can't afford a real diamond. Didn't mean to sound rude, just estatic he saved up the money to buy me something so beautiful. 
Posted by atbradshaw[/QUOTE]

and you should be proud of your ring!!! dont apologize if someone gets offended thats their problem not yours... you said nothing wrong at all

poet123

Your ring is a beauty...show it off and most of their diamonds are blood diamonds so tell em to stuff it.