Wedding Woes

Pretty much being driven nuts here

Hey everyone. Ok so my wedding is in 27 days and I am going crazy here. We're still missing a lot of RSVPs for the wedding, and we know that we have to call them, but it's a lot of people to call and it's very annoying. Why don't people RSVP? We put a very simple response card in an envelope and pre-stamped it. All they have to do is write their name, how many are coming, put it in the envelope, seal it, and set it in their mailbox. NOT HARD. Yet somehow, this is not working out for us. Not to mention the fact that most of the offenders in this are on my soon-to-be-in-laws' side. Which my future MIL put together, then added to, and is now trying to change. I love her to death, but she's driving me nuts with it. "Oh since this person can't come, I thought maybe this person could." Um...no. Sorry, but we can't just open this up to everyone we've ever met.  We just don't have the budget. Speaking of budget issues, we now have people on my fiancee's friend guest list that have simply assumed they can bring a date, despite the response card simply saying "Attending" and "Celebrating from afar". No "With guest" or anything like that. So...no date, right? But no, they just want to bring them and I'm getting worried because a large number of people on his list are single and may decide to do this. Do we really have to spend all this time teaching people how to behave? I mean come on, RSVP, and if you want to bring a date, ASK ME FIRST, don't just assume I can pay for that. UGH. Also in the category of annoying RSVPs, I'm having a bridesmaids luncheon on Saturday that all BMs have known about for well over a month. The date, the time, the location, etc. And my aunt that is hosting it sent out written invitations to them as well. She has to know by Wednesday how many are coming to give the final headcount to the restaurant. And NONE OF THEM have RSVP'd. I mentioned it to them this morning, but they haven't even replied to me. I'm really annoyed because I don't want to be that bride that has to be on everyone's case, but I'm getting walked on here and it's just so not fair. I don't know what to do. 
OH and also, my future MIL and I went together to pick out her dress. She picked one out that she really liked, and while it wasn't my favorite choice, I liked it too and she ordered it and we were all happy. Well, she got it in, tried it on and decided, "Oh, I don't like this." So now, 27 days before my wedding, she wants to get a new dress. Well that's fine except she might have to order it and God forbid it needs alterations. I mean, forget it, won't happen. So I'm just exhausted with this. I don't expect my wedding to be every single person's top priority or in the forefront of their mind like it is mine. I just don't like people thinking we can change everything and wait til the last minute on everything. I feel like it's just rude and I am sick of it!

Re: Pretty much being driven nuts here

  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013

    Deep breaths.

    Of the 3 things you complained about, only one concerns you - handling your wedding guest list.

    Your aunt is throwing the luncheon - it's her responsibility to figure out the head count.  You may feel guilty because they're your friends, but ultimately, she needs to handle this.

    Your MIL changing her mind on her dress has nothing to do with you.  She's a grown woman.  I'm sure she can figure out how to get a dress in 4 weeks.

    Calm down.  If these are the worst wedding things that happen, consider yourself lucky.

    ::waiting on wzz's flower girl story::

  • In the time it took you to type this out, you could have made like 5 phone calls. 

    Take a deep breath, calm down, and pick up the freaking phone.
  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I once saw on Oprah that this wedding party was hit by a drunk driver on the way from a wedding and the brides niece was decapitated and her head landed in her mothers lap. She picked it up and cradled it along the highway. That is pretty horrific. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_pretty-much-being-driven-nuts-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ebb9fa4c-39ed-4830-bf36-812775ab53dbPost:f87a63db-58a8-43cf-bb14-9839f5db47b6">Re: Pretty much being driven nuts here</a>:
    [QUOTE]I once saw on Oprah that this wedding party was hit by a drunk driver on the way from a wedding and the brides niece was decapitated and her head landed in her mothers lap. She picked it up and cradled it along the highway. That is pretty horrific. 
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]



    This pretty much never gets old.
  • PARAGRAPHSSSSSSS  

    MIL Dress: Not your problem

    BM Luncheon: NOT your problem

    B-Listing:  not only against etiquette but considering how close you are to your date, just no.  this you have control over.  you can calmly tell your mother or MIL or whomever that the list is what it is and no changes.  additionally, if you have guests that are in relationships, their SO should have been invited in the first place, so you need to figure that out.  if they don't have an SO, then you can say, "i am sorry, the invitation is for you, i hope to see you!".

    Overall, just chill.out.  I am 26 days away and while yes, i have dramz going on, i am not stressed. 

    you have to gain the perspective of: at the end of the day, as long as i am married to my FI, it's allllll good.



    [QUOTE]Hey everyone. Ok so my wedding is in 27 days and I am going crazy here. We're still missing a lot of RSVPs for the wedding, and we know that we have to call them, but it's a lot of people to call and it's very annoying. Why don't people RSVP? We put a very simple response card in an envelope and pre-stamped it. All they have to do is write their name, how many are coming, put it in the envelope, seal it, and set it in their mailbox. NOT HARD. Yet somehow, this is not working out for us. Not to mention the fact that most of the offenders in this are on my soon-to-be-in-laws' side. Which my future MIL put together, then added to, and is now trying to change. I love her to death, but she's driving me nuts with it. "Oh since this person can't come, I thought maybe this person could." Um...no. Sorry, but we can't just open this up to everyone we've ever met.  We just don't have the budget. Speaking of budget issues, we now have people on my fiancee's friend guest list that have simply assumed they can bring a date, despite the response card simply saying "Attending" and "Celebrating from afar". No "With guest" or anything like that. So...no date, right? But no, they just want to bring them and I'm getting worried because a large number of people on his list are single and may decide to do this. Do we really have to spend all this time teaching people how to behave? I mean come on, RSVP, and if you want to bring a date, ASK ME FIRST, don't just assume I can pay for that. UGH. Also in the category of annoying RSVPs, I'm having a bridesmaids luncheon on Saturday that all BMs have known about for well over a month. The date, the time, the location, etc. And my aunt that is hosting it sent out written invitations to them as well. She has to know by Wednesday how many are coming to give the final headcount to the restaurant. And NONE OF THEM have RSVP'd. I mentioned it to them this morning, but they haven't even replied to me. I'm really annoyed because I don't want to be that bride that has to be on everyone's case, but I'm getting walked on here and it's just so not fair. I don't know what to do.  OH and also, my future MIL and I went together to pick out her dress. She picked one out that she really liked, and while it wasn't my favorite choice, I liked it too and she ordered it and we were all happy. Well, she got it in, tried it on and decided, "Oh, I don't like this." So now, 27 days before my wedding, she wants to get a new dress. Well that's fine except she might have to order it and God forbid it needs alterations. I mean, forget it, won't happen. So I'm just exhausted with this. I don't expect my wedding to be every single person's top priority or in the forefront of their mind like it is mine. I just don't like people thinking we can change everything and wait til the last minute on everything. I feel like it's just rude and I am sick of it!
    Posted by hilslookalike[/QUOTE]
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    201 Invited image 139 Attending image 20 Declined image 42 Are making me wait image
  • TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
    500 Comments
    edited March 2013
    The only, only worry you have is the RSVP count for the wedding since you do need a headcount to give to your venue/caterer.  You know what solves that?  Picking up the phone and calling people.  When were your RSVP's due?  Wait about a week or so after that and start calling people. 

    As fas as +1's, that's your deal.  I'd be tempted to let them bring a +1 because attending a wedding alone sucks.  

    The rest is not your problem.  

    No one will care what your MIL is wearing. 
  • I will just echo the deep breathing and agree not to worry about what doesn't concern you.

    The only thing that matters is what you are wearing. It's the only dress that anyone will remember!

    Maybe FI can help you on the guest list =)
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    the best was when H came to me to tell me about this horrific story he saw on Oprah, and I started laughing. he told me how mean i was, etc etc etc..

    bottom line, H is the best.
  • Well here's why I'm stressed about the RSVPs to the luncheon. My aunt who is hosting doesn't know any of my bridesmaids, and can't reach them. I'm embarrassed because she's trying to do a nice thing for them and for me, and they won't even let her know if they're going.

    Here's why I'm stressed about her changing the dress: she doesn't have 27 days to pick one out and order it and make sure it fits. Because you can't pick it up on the wedding day. So I'm stressed cuz I know she wants to look nice and we had spent a long time looking for the dress she did buy. So now that she wants to start all over, I'm worried it will take too long. 

    And as far as the dates to the wedding, anyone in a serious relationship had their significant other included in the invitation. I'm talking about a straight up DATES. That is the issue. And yes, I can contact these people, but a lot of them are on my FI's list and I don't have their contact info, or even really know some of them. 
  • edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_pretty-much-being-driven-nuts-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ebb9fa4c-39ed-4830-bf36-812775ab53dbPost:683c01ef-401d-437a-8e55-95aaea5f724f">Re: Pretty much being driven nuts here</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well here's why I'm stressed about the RSVPs to the luncheon. My aunt who is hosting doesn't know any of my bridesmaids, and can't reach them. I'm embarrassed because she's trying to do a nice thing for them and for me, and they won't even let her know if they're going. Here's why I'm stressed about her changing the dress: she doesn't have 27 days to pick one out and order it and make sure it fits. Because you can't pick it up on the wedding day. So I'm stressed cuz I know she wants to look nice and we had spent a long time looking for the dress she did buy. So now that she wants to start all over, I'm worried it will take too long.  And as far as the dates to the wedding, anyone in a serious relationship had their significant other included in the invitation. I'm talking about a straight up DATES. That is the issue. And yes, I can contact these people, but a lot of them are on my FI's list and I don't have their contact info, or even really know some of them. 
    Posted by hilslookalike[/QUOTE]


    Umm last time I checked no one will be looking at your MIL's dress and i'm sure that she will be able to find a dress just fine and I agree PARAGRAPHS PLEASE have you thought about maybe idk asking your FI for their information???? i'm sure he has the numbers in his phone or email, I really just thinking you are whining and worrying about nothing
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards