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Am I coldhearted and alone?

tawillerstawillers member
Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
A woman on my month board started a FFFC post and simply typed BFP in the message.

She has a 9 month old with her drug addict exbf who is supposedly getting so much better.  She talks about hanging out with him on occasion and having sex with him in moments of weakness. ETA:  I'm only assuming this is the father.

She hasn't followed up on how she's feeling about the pregnancy but people are congratulating her and telling her babies are a blessing.

She works nights and her elderly father watches her 9 mo.  I'm not seeing the blessing in this situation.
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Re: Am I coldhearted and alone?

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper

    It doesn't sound like a good situation, but what else do you tell someone at that point?  That they should give their child up?  That they should have had an abortion?

    I have a tendency to be a heartless bitch in situations like that, but it sounds like she might just need someone to listen while she talks.  She might not have a great support system in her friend group.

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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-coldhearted-and-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f06f2974-7aef-4134-9c7f-9e37a0684d81Post:6fda2e5f-c177-4e42-929d-d868c1a943f6">Re: Am I coldhearted and alone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't sound like a good situation, but <strong>what else do you tell someone at that point?</strong>  That they should give their child up?  That they should have had an abortion? I have a tendency to be a heartless bitch in situations like that, but it sounds like she might just need someone to listen while she talks.  She might not have a great support system in her friend group.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, you have a point.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-coldhearted-and-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f06f2974-7aef-4134-9c7f-9e37a0684d81Post:6fda2e5f-c177-4e42-929d-d868c1a943f6">Re: Am I coldhearted and alone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't sound like a good situation, but what else do you tell someone at that point?  That they should give their child up?  That they should have had an abortion?
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    Both are better pieces of advice than saying that this is a blessing, IMO.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-coldhearted-and-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f06f2974-7aef-4134-9c7f-9e37a0684d81Post:6fda2e5f-c177-4e42-929d-d868c1a943f6">Re: Am I coldhearted and alone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't sound like a good situation, but what else do you tell someone at that point?  <strong>That they should give their child up?  That they should have had an abortion?</strong> I have a tendency to be a heartless bitch in situations like that, but it sounds like she might just need someone to listen while she talks.  She might not have a great support system in her friend group.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    YES! I certainly think the former is the preferable option, but both of these seem like better outcomes for all involved, including the child.

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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Ditto the noob It's just a platitude for an awkward situation when your opinion isn't even relevant or warranted.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-coldhearted-and-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f06f2974-7aef-4134-9c7f-9e37a0684d81Post:46d26ce4-eeed-464b-a665-45dba1c82da0">Re:Am I coldhearted and alone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto the noob It's just a platitude for an awkward situation when your opinion isn't even relevant or warranted.
    Posted by dharmabunny[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yes both are better pieces of advice, but unsolicited advice in such a situation never goes off well.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is when you just say, "Ok."
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