Mom/Dad Drama

rissieroo

So my parents are divorced, and while my dad tries very hard to be mature and civil, my mother is kind of insane. What suggestions does anyone have to keep them apart as much as possible to avoid any possible wedding day drama. I have told my dad I would want at least one picture of them two together with me, and he said that is okay. I have not talked to my mom about this yet. I am going to sit my dad with my FH's family during the reception. There's just so much... the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, where to seat them during the ceremony (I will NOT sit my father anywhere other than the front row because of my mother's pettiness!). Any suggestions?

psichick

sounds like you need a come to jesus talk with your mom. if she's the concern, talk to her and let her know what is going to happen so that she's prepared (in terms of sitting, etc), and tell her that you would appreciate it if she could just be civil for one day to your father and how much that would mean to you.

errigan

Wow. I have a VERY similar problem. My mom is NOT civil to my dad or his family at all. She threw a fit because I want to invite my dad's side of the family. She has been threatening to not even come to my wedding if they are there and I think it is all quite stupid. My dad on the other hand is totally mellow. I'm not sure what to do either. It seems like there is no talking to my mom on the subject. I've tried to be patient and talk to her in an adult manner but all she does is throw a fit. SO... I guess I don't have any REAL advice for you, but I hope it helps to know that you aren't the only one going through this! Good luck!

akhensley81

Definitely talk with them and ask them to - for your sake, if nobody else's - please be civil during the wedding. There will be plenty of other people there, you can easily "mingle" them with different crowds and seating shouldn't be too difficult. And if you're really that worried -- appoint your Master/Mistress of Ceremonies or someone else you trust to keep an eye on them during the day, so you don't have to.

babeed

The day I annouced my date, my parent announced their divorce. In the mist of prepping a wedding I am going through my parents divorce!! Ugh...My mom has already told me she won't come to the wedding if dad.his family is present but my financee doesn't want my father present due to other circumstances....I have no idea what to do. Its stressful enough planning a wedding without adding this too it.

Dragonfly6191

I'm having the EXACT same problem. I'm so frightened they are going to get into it at the wedding or the rehearsal dinner. My mom is a very conservative, non-drinker....whereas my dad is a very liberal, social drinker. My mom is convinced my dad is going to "get drunk and cause a scene" (He definetely wouldn't)....she's also threatening to not come/leave early because of him and his family. SO frustrating. She is insisting she sit in the front row, and my dad and his wife sit in the second row because "how dare I put my mom and his "mistress" in the same row".

Sorry...I can't be of much help since I'm in the same boat, but I can definetely relate.

rissieroo

Well it actually does feel nice to know I'm not the only one. I am more worried about my parents getting into it at the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner than at the wedding because there will be more people to distract them on the actual day. My dad has already said he will leave immediately following the father/daughter dance, which upsets me, but I can't really blame him.

haleyelizabeth28

That's too bad.  I can't say I'm in the "same boat," but a very similar one.  My parents are divorced and my dad is sane and my mom is insane and she has threatened not to come to the wedding.  They defnitely don't get along, but her issue is more about me becoming a different religion, which is very frustrating because she is not religious at all.  Anyway, I definitely know how you feel about trying to keep everyone happy which is SO difficult sometimes.  Like everyone else, I don't have much advice, but I can definitely relate!  Right now I have just not been talking to my mom because she is so irrational and I figure she'll come around eventually.  I have also been preparing myself for her not being there by imagining my wedding with her not there, incase she doesn't come around.  Just know it's not your fault and you can't fix everything!!!  Good luck

jesstevens214

I'm in a very similar situation except the parental roles are reversed.  My dad is emotionally disconnected and my mom is super supportive.  They, luckily, haven't spoken to each other in 10+ years.  I am putting both my parents in the first row.  My mom on one end and my dad and his wife on the other end.  My siblings and their significant others will be in the middle of them.  My dad doesn't like being at any function where my mom is present.  He told me yesterday that he doesn't think he's going to come to the rehearsal dinner just because my mom is going to be there.  I think all parties involved need to grow up and act like the adults they are.  Sit the parents and their respective families on opposite sides of the rooms as to minimize interactions.  You also just need to sit them both down and tell them that they are both so important and they need to set aside their problems for a few days.  Whether they like each other or not, they had you together and they are your parents regardless.  It's ok to be selfish for a weddng, but only the couple days before and the day of.

amandaC12

As many people have siad, i think the best way to ahdle these tyoes of situations are to sit them down and tell b oth of them how important it is that they are both there for you on your big day. 

I don't have this situation but I had a friend who had a simular situation. Basically they told both sets of parents that they want them at the wedding but they don't want any drama on the day. They said if anything happens on the day they will have no problem asking whichever one started it to leave. I think it is important to let both parents know that youwant them both there but you don't want your day to be ruined by the selfishness. 

If it helps my friends wedding went off without a hitch and both parents were civil enough for the big day!

Good Luck!

skippylouwho

One of my friends was in the dressing room at our church before her wedding. Her dad came in to get her to walk her down the aisle. Everyone else left to take their places to walk in. At about the same time her mom must have been being escorted down the aisle he told my friend he was filing for divorce from her mom the next Monday.

Wouldn't you like to have that news swirling through your head while you are walking down the aisle, taking your vows, greeting your guests and trying to enjoy your reception?  Her mother didn't even know.