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Pre Nuptial Agreement talk....I don't know much about this kind of thing.

My fiance has said we wants a pre nup. He wants to protect what he has now, before we get married. He says anything after we are married is ours equally. He has a bit more money than me, and his parents just went through a nasty divorce (after 32 yrs :() and money was the main issue. I can understand why he wants one, but is it weird that it makes me sad that divorce is even in his mind?? I was married once ten years ago (way too young) and got divorced after just two years. I went into that not having divorce in my vocabulary, but he was unhappy and too young as well. 

When we do this pre nup thing, do I put in that I want MY money that I have now before we are married to be MINE as well? OR are we just worried about his since he has above and beyond what I have? He wants to do some free one online....this also makes me nervous.

Any advice from someone who knows more about this than me???

Re: Pre Nuptial Agreement talk....I don't know much about this kind of thing.

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    First issue: if you're concerned that "divorce is on the brain" and hurt by the suggestion, you should have an honest discussion with him about that.

    Second:  If you're doing a prenup, I'd really recommend speaking with an attorney. It can be complex.  You have to decide (as a couple) if you want the property you bring into the marraige (prior) off limits, or assets acquired during the marriage (job salary, homes, inheritances, gifts from parents, etc.) are off limits as well. He has to fully disclose all assets he wants covered in the prenup, so if he "hides" anything from you, it can void the prenup. 
     Often couples with children from previous marriages will do a pre-nup because it protects the children, in the event a spouse dies, the children from a previous marriage/relationship aren't unintentionally cut out of a will or bulk of the assets go to step-children or children from the second marriage.

    It's a prudent thing, it's not the most romantic, but it is a practical measure. He saw what his parents went through, but keep the lines of communication open.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_pre-nuptial-agreement-talki-dont-much-this-kind-of-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f3b9325e-d49a-458f-a7ab-e5546592a313Post:20805bdf-79b4-4071-95c4-7cec307e3b4b">Pre Nuptial Agreement talk....I don't know much about this kind of thing.</a>:
    [QUOTE] I can understand why he wants one, but is it weird that it makes me sad that divorce is even in his mind?? I was married once ten years ago (way too young) and got divorced after just two years.Posted by stealthangel20[/QUOTE]

    How does this make you sad?
    If you have already been divorced once and his parents are divorced, why wouldn't the thought at least cross his mind?  50% of theese things end in divorce.
    Just make sure you go to a ;awyer and have it drafted correctly so that you dont get hosed when he leaves you for a younger chick. 

    Furthermore if he thinks it will be too much money for a lawyer he probably doesn't have as much money as he says he does.
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    The usual recommendation is for you each to hire a lawyer, so there is someone knowledgeable who answers only to you protecting your interests.  If neither of you have a background in law, it would be easy to make a mistake with an online form.
     (And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to want to protect your prior assets as well.)

    Your emotions are reasonable, but he's being pragmatic.  A prenup doesn't just protect him, it protects you both.  Neither you nor his parents planned to divorce at the time of your marriages, but it happens.  Consider it a pledge of faith, rather than a sign of doom: a pre-nup says that you love each other enough to legally protect the other from what you each might try to do if the worst ever happens.


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