THIS IS A C+P! IT'S NOT MY HUSBAND!

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have been married 30 years. We have two wonderful grown children. After the birth of our daughter, my husband revealed to me that he enjoys wearing bras and panties. I was surprised and not sure how to handle it. I decided to accept him as he was because I loved him. As the years went by I found this part of him to be a complete turn-off. But he’s a great father, and because of the children, I stayed. I still love him but have no sexual attraction to him anymore. Recently we went on a vacation together and he asked to come with me to get a pedicure. He received bright red polish on his toes. When friends and relatives inquired what was up with the red polish, I was shocked that he was surprised people made a fuss. If he’s going to increase his cross-gender desires as we age, I wonder if I can live with him for the rest of our lives. What should I do?

—What’s Next?

MinM

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1684887/tom-gabel-against-me-transgender-rolling-stone.jhtml

This guy came out as a woman and his wife was totally behind it. I don't know if I could do that, but I am happy it ended well for them.

GBCK

why doesn't prudie get that 'cross dress' =/= gay?

And Mrs. Conn doesn't get taht either.

I side eye lack of education when the issue is at your own door.

DG1

Who said cross-dress = gay?

There are plenty of things that can be turnoffs for some people. Cross-dressing is high on the list for many. Some people are turned off by tattoos. Some by smoking. 

Revealing a desire for or starting to do these things well into the marriage can easily be dealbreaker territory. If this woman wants a fulfilling marriage, she needs to bail. Stick around and coparent, but find a partner you fully love and respect and are attracted to. And let him find one who can be that for him. 

ReturnOfKuus

I agree with DG.  Mrs. Conn, you'll probably be happier if you stop being Mrs. Conn and start being Mrs. Someone Else.

GBCK

true, it doesn't say 'gay', but the response made it sound like sex was off the table.

I guess I don't get that.  If myhusband tried to woo me in my undies I'd tell him to get bent...but I don't think it'd make me never want sex w/ him again.

The idea that one facet of behavior can do that much to a marraige is odd to me.

ReturnOfKuus

I am a little surprised, too, seeing as he can just take the bra and panties off when it's time to have the sex, but then I thought about it as smoking instead, and it made sense.  That'd be enough of a turnoff for me that I would lose attraction.

DG1

Different people have different dealbreakers. My sex drive has been running pretty close to zero for a few years, so I'm not sure I even know what mine would be anymore. But I know that taking up smoking would pretty much be a major trust violation in our relationship - not just an unfortunate habit that one of us picked up. Tattoos would be close but probably not a  dealbreaker, depending on the size and location of the tattoo. Other people find tattoos incredibly hot. To each their own.

hmonkey

[QUOTE]he was surprised people made a fuss.
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

he just sounds like a giant aw (which is a huge turn off for me).