2nd Engagement...

staceymhanson

Ladies I need some advice!! Almost 2 years ago now i was engaged to a guy who mentally abused me so i called everything off 6 months before the wedding. My parents was furious with me because they really liked the guy even though they really didn't know the true him. Well needless to say i met the most perfect man afterward he is a police officer and the perfect gentleman. We have talked about getting married and hope to do so the end of next year anyways,  is it okay to wear the gown i had purchased for the other wedding? I love it but some people say its bad luck it was never worn so is it still? Should i do a complete differnt style wedding or can i still go with the traditional wedding i had planned before with some changes such as colors, bridal party, venue, even state. Anyways any advice anybody can give me would be great!!

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_2nd-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f610ffdc-f861-402a-9050-92fc45de7bfcPost:dbcfbd22-20f3-4966-bfaf-e35611987b48">2nd Engagement...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ladies I need some advice!! Almost 2 years ago now i was engaged to a guy who mentally abused me so i called everything off 6 months before the wedding. My parents was furious with me because they really liked the guy even though they really didn't know the true him. Well needless to say i met the most perfect man afterward he is a police officer and the perfect gentleman. We have talked about getting married and hope to do so the end of next year anyways,  is it okay to wear the gown i had purchased for the other wedding? I love it but some people say its bad luck it was never worn so is it still? Should i do a complete differnt style wedding or can i still go with the traditional wedding i had planned before with some changes such as colors, bridal party, venue, even state. Anyways any advice anybody can give me would be great!!
Posted by staceymhanson[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You were mentally abused, left the guy, met a new guy, and are planning a new wedding, all in the space of two years?</div><div>
</div><div>My advice? Slow down. 

</div>

johnniesgrl

I def would not wear that dress. You purchased it because you coud see yourself marrying your ex in it.
You have moved onto someone better. Leave the past where it belongs and go out and get yourself a new gown...you deserve that, and so does your fiance!

mysticl

I wouldn't wear the dress.  You can still have a traditional wedding.  It sounds like you are planning to change alll the details anyhow.  A friend of mine was engaged and the groom broke it off 2 months before.  When she did get married she had different colors and some different bridesmaids.  It was the same ceremony in the same church because she is Catholic and wanted to get married in the church she was rasied in.  She wasn't going to not have her sister in the wedding just because the first guy ended up being a jerk.  Though sis ended up being deployed and missed the wedding anyhow. 

Just plan the wedding with this guy and see what path it takes you down. 

staceymhanson

Thanks Johnniesgirl and misticl for the advice much appreciated. I am thinking of selling the dress but I am not sure where to sell it and I probably won't make back as much money as I paid for it.:( but oh well!

Bacon- i asked for advice on the wedding not my life. I appreciate your concern but it is unwarranted. 

meganyani

I asked my FI about this (you are from Maine so I was telling him about the boards. We live here too!). He was married previously so I don't know if that matters or not...he said it wouldn't bother him if the woman wanted to wear an old dress. It's YOUR dress, that does something for you and makes you feel good. So neither of us really saw a major problem with it.

I wouldn't do it if your FI would be hurt by it. Or if you, I dunno, did the hanky panky while wearing the dress with your old FI. Then it's weird.

staceymhanson

 Meganyani- you seriously made me laugh hysterically! No I did NOT do the hanky panky with my ex in the dress he never saw it, it was at the botique until after i called it off and now its been sitting at my parents house in a spare closet. I did ask him if he cared if i wore the gown and he said no because it was never worn, and if it was something that i really loved he wanted me to be happy! Anyways i am going to message you to pick your brain about wedding things in Maine i am not from here i have been here for almost 4 years due to being stationed up here in the Military!

Butter Cookie

I'm going to go ahead and tell you: You need to slow down. Being someone who came out of a very mentally abusive relationship I can tell you it took longer than two years to heal. Hell, I'm still not all the way there, but you've got to give yourself time to learn who you are and who you want to be and what it is you want out of life. Until you've sat down alone and figured this out you won't truly know what you want in a partner or how to recognize it.

staceymhanson

Cookie- I left him beause i knew that life wasn't one that i wanted. I know what i want and who i want to be. I am going to tell you the same thing that i told the other person, I am asking for advice on my wedding not my life. I am the kind of person who bounces back from things quickly i always have been. Trust me I know what i want in life.