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Supposed to be getting married on saturday

My FI and I got into the biggest fight last night. Sunday night, after he came home from his weekend long bachelor party and told me all about his lap dances and having strippers rub their chests in his face I didn't get upset until he said one of the strippers was amazing, he apologized and said that's not what he meant. Last night I got upset when he was talking to all his buddies and assuring them that they would all go out on Friday the night before our wedding. That's when he flipped out and said that I don't trust him and get jealous too easily and started comparing me to all the other guys girlfriends who went to the bachelor party. I asked if he still wanted to marry me and he said yes, we went to bed after apologizing but both of us didn't sleep and feel horrible today, I don't know what to do, any ideas?

Re: Supposed to be getting married on saturday

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_supposed-getting-married-saturday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd323423-bb8d-4b4e-bf6c-60c02550297cPost:279d9e34-cdbe-4228-93c1-8bf49afe054c">Supposed to be getting married on saturday</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I got into the biggest fight last night. Sunday night, after he came home from his weekend long bachelor party and told me all about his lap dances and having strippers rub their chests in his face I didn't get upset until he said one of the strippers was amazing, he apologized and said that's not what he meant. Last night I got upset when he was talking to all his buddies and assuring them that they would all go out on Friday the night before our wedding. That's when he flipped out and said that I don't trust him and get jealous too easily and started comparing me to all the other guys girlfriends who went to the bachelor party. I asked if he still wanted to marry me and he said yes, we went to bed after apologizing but both of us didn't sleep and feel horrible today, I don't know what to do, any ideas?
    Posted by lnatkin[/QUOTE]

    I feel like there's more to the story here.  On both your parts.
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, MrsConn.  If you are insecure, why in the why did you allow your FI to go to a stripclub for a week or whatever?
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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Is this the first time you've ever felt insecure?  Is this the first time he has come home talking about the "amazing stripper" he just met?
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    edited December 2011
    I'm not insecure, I told him I was totally fine with him going to strip clubs for his bachelor party, I only got a little upset when he called the stripper amazing because I really dont care about hearing how amazing his lap dance was. There have been issues in the past where i've been jealous of other girls but nothing lately, I've been trying really hard to not be jealous of anything but I don't think he's giving me the credit for trying to change.
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, I'll give you credit for trying, and maybe it's just the stress leading up to a big event.  It sometimes leads people to say things they don't "TRULY" mean.

    In that case, water under the bridge...and move on.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    i have so many questions.

    what does the weekend long bachelor party (ugh) have to do with anything?

    are you mad at him for saying the stripper was amazing?  or are you mad at him for going?  or are you wondering what "amazing" really means?  (like, is he going to write her a job recommendation for her next pole, or did he put his junk in her junk drawer?)

    what are you doing on the friday night before your wedding?  traditionally, that's the rehearsal, but if not that, then what?  i'm guessing it's not a prayer meeting.

    so other girlfriends were at the bachelor party?  all weekend?  why didn't you go?  or were the other girlfriends strippers and that's why they were there?  or were you "not allowed" to go?

    is this the first fight you have ever had?  not with him, but with another person, ever?  i ask because you pulled the nuclear option really early, so i'm figuring you have never disagreed with another person before, which is why you felt the only option is "you don't want to get married."  it was either that or you threaten to kill yourself.

    image
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    edited December 2011
    I am probably blowing this out of proportion cause i'm super stressed, The only reason I got really upset is because he said that I get jealous and don't trust him and then said that everyone else's girlfriends/fiance's trust their men and don't ever get jealous. It was really the comparing me to everyone else that hurt. No girls were at his bachelor party. And I let the amazing stripper thing go real quick, he just brought it back up last night during the fight to prove how jealous I get.
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_supposed-getting-married-saturday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd323423-bb8d-4b4e-bf6c-60c02550297cPost:324edfaf-bf7f-41ba-af5a-4d25a6b06578">Re: Supposed to be getting married on saturday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am probably blowing this out of proportion cause i'm super stressed, The only reason I got really upset is because he said that I get jealous and don't trust him and then said that everyone else's girlfriends/fiance's trust their men and don't ever get jealous. It was really the comparing me to everyone else that hurt. No girls were at his bachelor party. And I let the amazing stripper thing go real quick, he just brought it back up last night during the fight to prove how jealous I get.
    Posted by lnatkin[/QUOTE]

    He's marrying you as you are. He does know that, right? You may not ever become super cool with every single thing he does. And he may never stop shoving his foot in his mouth in a fit of stupidity.

    You both know that, don't you?
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    He sounds like an assh*le, frankly.  Telling your fiancee how amazing the strippers and lap dances were?  And then getting mad and berating her for being jealous when he gets EXACTLY the reaction he was looking for?

    I'd find something else to do on Saturday.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]I am probably blowing this out of proportion cause i'm super stressed, The only reason I got really upset is because he said that I get jealous and don't trust him and then said that everyone else's girlfriends/fiance's trust their men and don't ever get jealous. It was really the comparing me to everyone else that hurt. No girls were at his bachelor party. And I let the amazing stripper thing go real quick, <strong>he just brought it back up last night during the fight to prove how jealous I get.
    </strong>Posted by lnatkin[/QUOTE]

    why should you trust him?  he sounds like a manipulative ahole.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    I know that, and he's said multiple times he wouldn't change a thing about me, and I asked him if that includes when I get upset and he said yes.
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well then...you have your answer.  What do you do?  Keep on trucking and realize this will resurface again and again.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    I want to know what does amazing mean?

    Was her lady garden amazing or did she have jugs like Mrs. Myrtle's grandma?
    image
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    edited December 2011
    He said that the other girls just kinda danced in place but this one did flips and stuff.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    so she was out stealing the other girls' nipple thunder, eh?  how nice of him to go into detail.  did he draw diagrams?

    image
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh.  She was all cirque du soleil and they were all barnum & baileys.
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    edited December 2011

    Oh! She made her booty clap. Got It!

    image
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_supposed-getting-married-saturday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd323423-bb8d-4b4e-bf6c-60c02550297cPost:6a1cd84b-c1d1-4be9-a1f4-f6f184bc5ca1">Re: Supposed to be getting married on saturday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh! She made her booty clap. Got It!
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]


    I am officially done. DONE.
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *snort*  Perfect, Nola...jussstt perfect.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i ... did not know .. THAT .. was a ... word ... thingie.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *ded* at "booty clap". 

    I love the new 'on fire' NOLA.  Love, love, LOVE!
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    edited December 2011
    Ha. It was the first thing that came to mind when she said flips and stuff.
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I learn so many unexpected new things from NOLA.


    I'm also wondering why he thinks all of these other girlfriends "trust their men" (ugh) so much, since they apparently felt the need to go babysit them during a weekend-long (ugh) bachelor party. 

    image
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    edited December 2011
    Y'all I blame it on old age.

    DG, now I want to know what you've learned?
    image
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