If you need to laugh.

mrsconn23

Read This: http://thebloggess.com/2012/03/excerpt-of-lets-pretend-this-never-happened-a-mostly-true-memoir/

I was crying.

zsazsa-stl

LOL!

If you don't hear from me for the rest of the day it is because I am busy applying for HR jobs.

mrsconn23

Zsa-The Peen Queen of HR ...That sounds like a great title. 

AuntFlo

I may lose my job because of this one.   I almost peed my pants just now.

Today I had to talk to an employee who e-mailed a photograph of his penis to a woman in his department. I knew it was his penis because it said, “This is my penis,” in the subject line. Also, his name badge was clipped to his belt and was clearly visible. I practiced saying, “Is this your penis?” over and over in my office until I could say it without giggling, and then I called him and his supervisor in.

“Is this your penis?” I asked, as I pushed the printout of the e-mail over to him.

I think I was expecting him to break into a sweat or try to jump through the window out of embarrassment, because apparently I’d forgotten about the fact that this was the same man who thought it would be perfectly fine to take a picture of his penis in the office bathroom to send it to a shocked coworker. Instead he grinned cockily (no pun in tended), saying, “I think the better question is, Exactly how did you get a picture of my penis?”

“It was caught in the e-mail filter. The picture, I mean. Not your penis. If, in fact, that is your penis, I mean.” I was flustered, but tried to gain control of the situation again with a deep, calming breath. “Did you mail a picture of your penis?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Would it make it better if I said I was mailing pictures of someone else’s penis?”

I’ve thought about that question for fifteen years and I still don’t have a good answer. Instead I said, “Not really. Giving a coworker a picture of a penis is sort of universally frowned on. It’s in the employee hand book. Sort of. It’s between the lines.”

“Is there anything in the handbook about someone in HR handing you a penis picture and asking you whether it’s yours?”

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that, so I just told him he was fired and made a note that we need to update the employee handbook with more penis-related directives.

AuntFlo

And then I read the last story.   Now I am dead.   DEAD.

mrsconn23

I cannot wait for this book to come out.

AuntFlo

Also, I used to work in HR and would call people in for interviews based on bets all of the time.   It's really the only joy that you can garner from that job.

I'm going to post a story on FB about this.

Wzz

I am so getting fired for reading all of this today and laughing out loud when calls come in. oh well!