Wedding Woes

50 Shades of Christmas

Dear Prudie,
I am dreading my family’s annual Christmas get-together this year, but not for the usual reason. My mother, who’s in her 60s, her sister-in-law, and a female cousin are huge fans of the Fifty Shades of Grey books. They literally cannot be in a room together without discussing the book in great detail, regardless of who is around. They have all badgered me to read the books; however, any interest I had in reading them was squashed by their incessant and overly detailed accounts of the books. They all call me a prude, laugh at me, and deliberately try to cause me discomfort. I have been warned to not be “so oversensitive and uptight” and that they plan to discuss this openly at our family Christmas dinner in front of the children. Am I wrong to think they should be respectful of my feelings and others? Am I the only grown woman having this issue or are all women so crazy for those books they have lost all concept of appropriateness?

—Dreading the Holiday

Re: 50 Shades of Christmas

  • How many times can they talk about it?  Wouldn't they run out of things to discuss?

    Conn, you should lure them all in a bedroom and lock them in there with a copy of Magic Mike for the evening.
  • Considering the sex scene was literally the same one over and over...you'd think these unimaginative twits would run out of things to talk about.  Good luck MrsConn!
  • Huh.  I don't care if people want to discuss, I will openly mock them, secure in the knowledge that I at least made it through one.

    However, I don't think this is an appropriate conversation in front of children.  I don't think that they should be protected from sex, but protection from badly written literature is important.  ;)  But really, is there not something else they can talk about?  I'd start steering the conversation away every time or just find someone else to talk to.
  • Just start singing "this little light of mine" loud and proud.  That should help!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_50-shades-of-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fdb0653e-f651-49e0-8185-32d9e1c7ee45Post:8fbc143c-485e-415b-913d-e638e5d42013">Re: 50 Shades of Christmas</a>:
    [QUOTE]How many times can they talk about it?  Wouldn't they run out of things to discuss? <strong>Conn, you should lure them all in a bedroom and lock them in there with a copy of Magic Mike for the evening.</strong>
    Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]

    <div>taw WINS!</div>
  • When the conversation started I would be tempted to speak up and say, "I don't need to read fictional, made up sex scenes - my real sex life is WAY more satisfying" and then throw a wink at my H.

    And seriously, talking about it around the kids.... ICK!

    image
  • it's too bad there is never another room to go into, or a different person to talk to that she thinks she is being forced to talk about this godforsaken book.
  • Response:

    Dear Dreading,
    I can understand that after years of discussing the thickness of the gravy and the thinness of Uncle Herbert’s 401(k), these ladies have grown sick of post-Christmas Mass talk and would prefer a mass reading of Christian Grey. Sure it could be awkward explaining to the kids that even though Grandma keeps going on about her favorite brand of ben wa balls, that they are not getting their own set in the Christmas stocking. And yes, they might wonder what Aunt Lois did that was so bad that she keeps talking about getting spanked. But respect your elders and let these ladies have the pleasure of thinking that isn’t a hot flash, they’re just hot. As you’ve seen, the more you object and squirm over their passion for the trilogy, the more they’re going to torment you with references to Christian Grey-flavored popsicles. (Just tell the kids it tastes terrible and you’re sticking with grape.) Ignore this senior trio or laugh at them, and agree with the kids that they sound very silly. And if ice cream is served for dessert, just tell the children that even if Grandma keeps talking about letting it drip down her body, they’d better keep theirs in the bowl.

    —Prudie

  • Respect your elders?  Really?

    Also, why is "letting it drip down her body" clicky?
  • Honestly, there is a time and place for conversations like this.  Sitting around, drinking in a bar or at an adults party?  Fine.  

    Christmas dinner?  No.

    Be some social graces, people.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_50-shades-of-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fdb0653e-f651-49e0-8185-32d9e1c7ee45Post:d9f3b173-15b6-4734-a740-7556bb894176">Re: 50 Shades of Christmas</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, there is a time and place for conversations like this.  Sitting around, drinking in a bar or at an adults party?  Fine.   Christmas dinner?  No. Be some social graces, people.
    Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agreed!  Not in front of the kids</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_50-shades-of-christmas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fdb0653e-f651-49e0-8185-32d9e1c7ee45Post:40d04e4e-90f3-4f49-ada5-9180b6af0df8">Re: 50 Shades of Christmas</a>:
    [QUOTE]Respect your elders?  Really? Also, why is "letting it drip down her body" clicky?
    Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am refusing to click to find out.</div>
  • Hi Dreading,
    It does seem that this topic would be questionable for a Christmas dinner with children present.  I can understand that it's been difficult to express this to your family and that they seem to have this discussion even more often in you presence.  It may seem extreme, but it might be helpful to briefly talk with a counselor who can help you know how best to respond to these women.  You can talk with counselors from Focus on the Family over the phone (at no cost to you).  You can reach them by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT).  It may also be helpful for you to listen to this commentary about these books.  I applaud you for standing strong.
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