ready to reschedule wedding without parents

epritchard

K.  I'm really just looking for some validation here.  If you think you've really got a piece of good advise, let me have it.

Planning my wedding has been a total nightmare.  My mom told me she would rather kill herself than plan with me, then got mad when I didn't involve her.  My siblings were giving me a hard time about how much everything was costing my dad.  Then, when I went berzerk about Mr. Limbaugh being sexist and racist, my dad called me hateful, ignorant, and an idiot.

Nothing about this whole situation is ok.  This wedding is barried under negativity.  I already have everything lined up with deposit's down for a wedding of 230 (dad's money), but I want to cancel the whole thing and plan it somewhere else without them.

I have already sent save the dates telling people to reserve rooms in the city we are supposed to get married in, but if I go through with changing the wedding to exclude my fam, the location will change.  

I just don't want my wedding to be this terrible experience.  I want to start fresh without them.  Help.

Wzz

your parents sound like crazy people. mom sure does like to amp up the drama. kill herself versus help plan a wedding? mkay, mom. just stay home then with your white supremacist husband. i am sure that won't make you want to kill yourself.

zsazsa-stl

I hope you are talking to a counselor about this.  Weddings are stressful.  Throw cutting out your family on top of that and very bad things can happen.

missfrodo

Will you get your deposit back if you back out of your vendors now?  If not, it may be too late to turn down Dad's money, but you could always offer to pay him back for the deposits and tell him you won't be needing his assistance in paying for your wedding anymore.  Your family sounds wonderful, I don't understand why you'd want to cut them out of your life (heavy sarcasm).  For the record, I can't even imagine my reaction if my own dad called me an idiot, but then we're very close.  If you are ready to wash your hands of your biological family, it's not too late to send notices to your guests informing them of the change in date/venue, or to scale down your plans to accomodate your new budget (ie BBQ in a park instead of a fancy hotel, if that's what you can afford w/o your dad).  Weddings are very stressful, but I get the feeling these issues go back a lot farther.  I second the therapy suggestion, either a private session or ask your family to come with you and get everything out with a family therapist.  I hope everything works out for you, one way or another.

epritchard

Hey thanks.  I think I've just gotten full to the top with their hurtful antics at an inconvenient time, but we do have time to resend notices and replan the whole thing.