Potluck and BYOB Party following Destination Wedding

hollynikolle

We are having a small wedding in vegas with about 20 friends and family attending.  We would like to have a party when we get home.  I don't want to call it a reception because we are not doing cake, scheduled dancing, garter and bouquet toss, etc.  We just want to get all our friends together for a good time.  Would it be rude for me to just host a Luau Themed party and have everyone BYOB and a side dish or appetizer?  We are also going to be getting a band or dj for the event.  All the etiquette websites say that you should never host any type of party and ask guests to bring something.  Most parties that I go to or host are potluck style.  I don't see anything wrong with it but I would like others opinions.  I just want to get a bunch of friends/family together and have a good time!

aerinpegadrak

I wouldn't do BYOB.  You can do kegs of beer, buy wine in bulk, or mix up some sort of alcoholic punch as a way of saving money.  But if most/all of the people in your circle are accustomed to potluck, I see nothing wrong with asking them to bring a side.  Just make sure that you provide a few of your own in case people flake out or everyone brings potato salad.  (We're considering going this route for our AHR.)

How are food allergies normally handled with your friends and family?  That's usually one of the biggest issues with potluck, guests with allergies being uncertain of what's safe to eat and what's not.

Ana_2985

I agree with aerin.  Since you are hosting a party to celebrate your wedding, you should at least provide the main dish or dishes and the beverages.  Especially if you think people might bring gifts.  I think it would be okay to let people know they are welcome to bring their favorite drink/appetizer/dessert though.  A lot of people will just ask if you'd like them to bring something anyway.

If you just were having a non-wedding related BBQ I think the whole potluck thing would be okay.

hollynikolle

Thanks everyone for your input.  We have decided that we might downsize our guest list to our closest friends and family, so we will probably have a head count of 60-80.  We will be providing soda, water, punch, beer, and jungle juice.  We are letting everyone know if they can bring their own alcohol too (just in case they want something different).  I think I will probably stick with the potluck idea, however I am looking into possibly doing my own food and serving ham sandwiches, a couple of sides, and munchies.  It depends on the price of everything, but with only 60-80 people I don't see it being too expensive! We have decided that we do not want to go into debt from our wedding, so we are only doing what we can pay for in cash.

CaptiolBride

good idea. I think the potluck is fine. especially if your family is cool with it.  Providing beer is great and having jungle juice as your "signature drink" is also a good idea. Have loads of fun with it.