Wedding Reception Forum
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2 Receptions?

Is anyone else throwing two receptions?

My fils want to throw my fi and I a second reception about two months after our wedding.  They live about 6 hours away and want to be able to invite all of their friends to celebrate our marriage.  It is very kind of them...but my fmil keeps asking me what I want and I have no idea what to tell her!  What is the etiquette for a second reception?  Who do we invite? (My family - do we invite just my immediate family or include aunts and uncles?  Do we invite the bridal party?)  Do we treat it the same as my actual wedding reception with the various dances, cake cutting, toasts, etc?  Do I wear my wedding dress again?  What about the wording on the invitations?
Tara & Eric September 2011 Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: 2 Receptions?

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    My advice would be to let FILs throw a party, but don't turn it into a repeat of the first reception.  I think it's silly to dress up in your wedding dress, cut cake, have a first dance and toasts.  I think it would be better of his parents look at it more as a party thrown in your honor than as a reception,
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    I'm with Sara.  I just don't get the "traveling road show wedding reception tour" thing.  I would decline a second "reception".  If they want to have a BBQ for their friends that you're invited to, fine.

    A wedding dress, special dances, wedding cake,  redux is, IMO, inappropriate.

    I think your FMIL invites those she wants to attend your wedding.  Then the invited guests decide if they will attend or not.  If they do, they're at your wedding.  If they don't, they miss it. 

    Sorry. 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    I believe this is ususally properly termed an "open house," and is treated as just a party.
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    I don't get why this even has to happen. Why can't they just travel 6 hours to be at your regular reception or just not come? Why would THEIR friends need to be there? I guess if they want to throw you a congrats party that's fun... but to call it a "reception" is really pointless. 

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    FIL and SIL are hosting a reception for us next month in San Francisco.  We had a small (30 guest) wedding.  My brother's new in laws did the same after his destination wedding (28 guests).  A friend did this after her destination wedding.

    SIL and friend wore their dresses and I will be wearing mine sans veil.  The guests at brother and SIL's second reception all commented that they were happy to see SIL in her dress. I purposely picked a dress that wasn't over the top and could be worn again at a second reception.
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    i completely agree with the PP. Let them host an "open house" or simply a party in honor of your marriage and not a second wedding reception. Treat it like you would an engagment party or something along those lines
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    Actually, having a second reception in the home town of the groom is a time-honored tradition.  It will probably be more informal than the first, and the couple typically does not wear their wedding outfits, but there is absolutely no reason not to have one.
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    Honestly, we had a second reception in Peru.  It was impossible for most of my Peruvian in-laws to travel to the US for the wedding, and I wanted to meet them anyway.  

    We had a mass, got a special blessing, had a dinner, and then partied all night.  There were no first dances, garter tosses or any of that.  We did have cake and get drunk. My MIL insisted that I wear my dress again, but I felt really stupid and wished I'd "forgotten" to bring it.  I took it off after 30 mins.  

    Even still, I was a little embarrassed to be having another reception.  Had it been any closer than South America, we would have declined.  Most of my family lives about 6 hours away from our wedding, and some couldn't make it.  There is no way we would have considered a party for those that couldn't come.  

    With this kind of distance, a second reception is really overkill.  If your FILs insist on doing something, don't make it a wedding related party.  Make it a party where you get to meet their friends.  Once you've gone through the whole wedding, the idea of re-doing it will seem obnoxious and stupid.  
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    edited October 2010
    we are doing this, getting married in a destination wedding in october  but the whole family is in louisiana, so we are having a party there in april,  we are having thirty people at the wedding itself, but about 100 at the reception, my parents planned this, after we realized 90 percent of our guests would not make it to the wedding. I am wearing my dress again, however my dress is a fun little tea legnth cupcake fifties dress. so not too formal, and the only thing bridal about it is it's white. we are serving cupcakes, and having a full dinner  and a fun cake, but not a wedding cake, we will dance together, but it won't me a first dance, just a dance with my husband, it's a party, but I think because my wedding dress is casual it's ok to wear it again
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    edited October 2010
    FI and I are planning to have two receptions.  We live in Florida but our wedding will be held in Michigan, where I grew up, and there will be 200 people present.  Most of our friends in Florida will not be able to make the long trip up to Michigan, and we'd love to celebrate with the people we're around the most.  The second reception will not actually be billed as a "reception" on the invitations.  It's being called a Wedding Celebration, and we'll be inviting 60 people.  We aren't going to do any special dances, and I'm not wearing my big wedding dress (I got a second knee length white dress to wear to the 2nd reception).  We will, however, have a couple of toasts and a lot of dancing.  It will be a cocktail reception, and will definitely be less formal and more of a party atmosphere.
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    We're having a big cookout about two months after our wedding.  The wedding is in St. Louis (where my family is from), and the FILs live near us here in Ohio and want to throw us another party to invite their friends and other distant family members.  We're just going to announce it as a party to celebrate our marriage.  Nothing about it is going to be wedding-y other than FI's uncle's band playing for people to dance or whatever. 
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    I agree with the PP that it would be silly to throw the exact same reception. Wear a different dress, get some cupcakes and be easy-breezy with it. I'd probably play a video or scatter pictures from the orignal reception so that everyone else will see what happened.
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    Thank you for the advice ladies.

    I agree, and did prior to this post, that a complete second reception with wedding dress and all would be a little ridiculous.  However, I was unaware of the customs, as I have never been to such an event...or even heard of someone else having one.

    It is not custom in FI's family to do this (to my knowledge).  My FI is the first in his family to get married other than at home, so it has never been an issue.  I know my fils plan on serving a dinner and drinks at a reception hall.  I will clarify with them that I want it to be more of a meet and greet. 

    Oh, and I believe they want to do this because he has a lot of extremely elderly aunts and uncles that most likely won't be able to make the trip.  I had offered to plan the wedding in their hometown in order to accomodate them, but his family was very supportive of us planning a wedding where I grew up and we currently live so that the planning would be very stressful.
    Tara & Eric September 2011 Wedding Countdown Ticker
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