Wedding Reception Forum
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Reception

When it comes to a wedding its all about tradition to my mother. My family is Mexican and very Christian and the reception is key. Its all about the food and God. But the thing is that I don't want a reception with lots of messy food and drinks. I simply want Hor D'Oeures and wine. My mother seems to have a huge problem with this... How do I tell her that this is what I want and not a lot of food? What would you say?  Any suggests will be helpful.
Holiday

Re: Reception

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    Who is paying for the reception?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    We are... But my mom said that she would hire a caterer if we did it her way. So this is where I'm torn.
    Holiday
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    I understand why you would not want messy food. Serving a full meal to your guests is preferable than just Hor D'Oeures and wine. A full open bar is better than just wine. Let her hire the caterer and make sure they don't serve messy food.
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    loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited July 2010
    Any way to compromise?

    If the reason you don't want alot of 'messy' food is because of cost then I suggest allowing her to get the caterer. You have to keep in mind the type of reception you're having, the time (if dinner time, please provide a meal) and length of reception (how long can wine and hors d'oeuvre last) ?
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    Just sit down and be honest with her... explain that this is the only time (hopefully) that you'll ever get to do this and you really want xyz. She should hopefully understand.
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    The fact that she's willing to pay to get her way shouldn't really sway you.  Is she willing to supplement your salary so you'll take the job she wants?  To pay your rent if you live where she wants?  It's really not that uncommon for parents to use their money to control your life, and you don't want to give her a foot in the door.  If what you and your FI really want is hors d'oeuvres and wine, tell your mom, "Thanks, but that's not what we had in mind."
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    Maybe make a compromise of doing lots of heavy Hor D'Oeures. There's so many options nowadays for Hor D'Oeures that I'm sure you could come to something that makes you both happy. Some caterers have different stations, butlered Hor D'Oeures, and tons of different kinds of foods, some that can be verry dinner-ish. Maybe tell her that you'd really like to stick with an Hor D'Oeures reception, but if she's willing to pitch in a bit then you guys would be willing to beef up the selection to ensure that there's plenty of options to go around. It sounds like she's very traditional and not only is she perplexed by a reception without a formal, sit-down meal, but also nervous that there won't be enough food and people will be hungry.
    If she still won't budge, then tell her that you're paying for it and you'll do what you and your fiance want to do. Do make sure, though, that there's enough food for the amount of people you're inviting and the time of day. Good luck!
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