Is this centerpiece idea a good one?

SheenaNash1

So I am a second grade teacher and my finace loves to read. I thought I would incorporate that into the decorations for our summer 2011 wedding. I thought we would get seed paper bookmarks for the favors that grow wildflowers when you plant them (or you can just use them as a bookmark) and then for the centerpieces I thought I would start collecting old books with titles about love, marriage, friendhsip, etc. over the next year or so and have about five lined up together on each table with some flowers in mason jars on either end acting as bookends to hold up the books. Then add some tea candles (safely away from the books!) to the tables for a soft light glow. Then, after the wedding we would donate the books to a charity like Books for Africa and have little cards at each table telling the guests what we are planning to do and asking them to donate books as well. What do you guys think? Overboard or cute?

trix1223

I liked everything until you got to the point of telling your guests about your donation and asking them to donate as well.   Your heart is in the right place, but your wedding should not be a charity event.

Have your CPs. I think they'd be clever and personal.  Then donate the books after.  Don't broadcast what you're doing, and don't ask people to donate as well.

SarahPLiz

I think those CPs are awesome, but I am also one not to brag about my donating, so I think that would be a little overboard.

duckie1905

You had me until you got to the donation part.  That says AW to me.  Other than that I think its a cute idea.

Arther007

I like it all, except asking people to donate.

aerinpegadrak

Ditto the others.  I love the idea of using books as your centerpieces, but I don't think you need to bring up the donation to your guests.  By all means donate them, but I don't think it's necessary to inform everyone.

pandasquishy

Cute idea, but I agree don't mention donations.  Weddings aren't fundraisers.  Other than that, the centerpieces sound unique and great.

AW means "Attention whore"

vitacosmopolita

I love the whole idea since I am book lover too. I've seen a lot on sites and on these boards about not making a big deal about who you are donating to, BUT I personally don't understand the big deal about showing you are doing a donation.  As long as you don't  force your guests, I think its fine. In this self absorbed realm of weddings, it is a beautiful gesture to say you took a moment of your wedding planning time to give to a cause.

duckie1905

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_this-centerpiece-idea-good-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2012a851-6c25-41a6-9974-67f8d2cde2fbPost:c0ec6010-99d1-4436-a07c-cc4f0d8416c5">Re: Is this centerpiece idea a good one?</a>:
[QUOTE]I love the whole idea since I am book lover too. I've seen a lot on sites and on these boards about not making a big deal about who you are donating to, BUT I personally don't understand the big deal about showing you are doing a donation.  As long as you don't  force your guests, I think its fine. In this self absorbed realm of weddings, it is a beautiful gesture to say you took a moment of your wedding planning time to give to a cause.
Posted by vitacosmopolita[/QUOTE]

<div>Because to a lot of people placing something at each table or each place setting is seen as the same thing as making a big deal about donating.  Putting a note about the donation in the program or on a special remembrance table (if it is someone's honor) is fine but I see no reason why it needs to be announced at every.single.table.  It is the same thing as giving money to your favorite charity and then running to every person you know to make sure they know how generous you are.  It just isn't necessary if the donation was made for the right reasons.</div><div>
</div><div>I also think there is never an occasion when you should be soliciting your guests for donations.  Even if it isn't "forced" a wedding is not a fundraiser and should not be treated as such regardless of how worthy the charity is perceived to be.</div>

SheenaNash1

Thanks for the opinions ladies...i was hoping to get more input about the actual centerpieces and not JUST the donation part....especially since i already agreed that i didnt need to say i was donating.

its interesting really..the bride and the groom can ask guests to do a dollar dance, buy them gifts from their registries, make them eat the food they picked, dance to the music they picked, make them sit at tables they chose, etc but SUGGESTING they donate to a charity for a good cause is considered being an "AW"....i just find that very interesting. and yet its still ok to make your guests take home god-awful favors with the bride and grooms initals and wedding date, cause we all know everyone just LOVES that crap lol. well, at least you all the liked the centerpiece idea!

kbarrett1212

cute idea! I like this one:

http://ruffledblog.com/2009/02/a-storybook-wedding-part-ii/

dreamer921

SheenaNash.... your centerpiece idea sounds really neat. Its very personal and something that means a lot to you and your FI. very cute, good luck finding the books, thats going to take a lot of patience!!

Thank you for your most recent post! I love it...Way to stand up for yourself and all of us out there.

My aunt was diagnosed, beat and survived breast cancer.  I do a Susan G. Komen walk with her every year and I am so proud of her!  I thought about doing a donation to Susan G. Komen in my aunts name instead of doing a favor...and got shot down...

by the way, I think sending guest home with favors is a super AW move... why do your guests need to take home some crap "trinket" to remember YOUR wedding day?!
 ( which I think are stupid, junky, tacky and a useless waste of money)

anyway, its your wedding, do what you want, because thats all that really matters! your guests will love you no matter what... and afterall, its just a wedding....

jennylove810

Hey Sheena!  I want to chime in here.

First off, love the centerpieces.  If you're looking for more feedback than that, you probably won't get it only because it sounds like everyone thinks it's a good idea!  Creative and unique.. how do you improve on that?

Next up, don't take the phrase "attention whore" too sharply.  Girls on here will use it with a lot of love, and even descripe themselves with it.  Look for "AW: Dress/Invites/Centerpieces" posts all over the knot when brides show off their own stuff.  It's not as bad a phrase as it sounds at first.

Finally, you mentioned all that stuff like dollar dance, music and food selections, table seating, etc.  You raise a good point, however, there are 2 important differences between all of that, and the donations to charity.  First, (with the exception of the dollar dance which is trashy and should be avoided, no exceptions), all of these give your guests choices.  They have a CHOICE of which items to buy off your registry.  They have a CHOICE of which meal to eat at your reception.  They even have a choice of which seat to pick at the table, and in some instances, may be able to make music requests.  The next difference is that with the decisions you make for your guests, you (hopefully) do it with the guests' feelings and opinions in mind.  You are hopefully being a gracious host.  You probably won't play hardcore rap if your grandparents are in attendance, and you will most likely include college friends, coworkers, cousins, etc to be seated together at your reception.  With a charity donation, there are endless reasons why it can rub people the wrong way.  Perhaps they already donate.  Perhaps they don't WANT to donate, or perhaps have some personal preference which charities to give to.  In either instance, your wedding is your wedding.  It is a celebration of your love and a party to celebrate, but it is not a charity event.  There's a time and a place for everything in this world, and a wedding is not the time nor the place to be focused on anything other than good friends, good food, and the bride and groom.

Hope this was helpful

SheenaNash1

dreamer - thanks for your advice! I totally agree with everything you said. That sucks that your charity donation idea was shot down, thats really awful.

Jennylove - thanks for your thougthful reply but i am going to respectfully disagree. I dont think there is every a bad time to donate to a good cause, ever. and i would not be forcing anyone to do anything. it would be something that said "if you are interested in dontating to this charity as well here is the website" or something like that. i wouldnt say you MUST donate to this chairty right here right now. what kind of crazy person would do that?

alyak68

well SheenaNash, it already sounds like you have your mind made up anyway.. Who is anyone to disagree? It's your day. Do what you want. =]

kellymaryanne

Sheena - I LOVE the book idea! I think it is very unique and gives an insight into your personality as a couple. I just saw a picture of a bowl of carnations on top of three red hard cover books. I thought it was very cute and aesthetically pleasing.

On the whole donation thing... Putting some charity info on a card on each table doesn't make your wedding a charity event. How selfish would you be as a guest if you actually got offended at that? Your family & friends probably know how caring you are. People attending your wedding aren't likely to get offended. And if they do, who cares. There are lots of things that could possibly offend someone at a wedding. A drunk uncle? I'm just sayin... Do what you want on your day. Be passionate. Reach out to the world in your own way. Yes, even on your wedding day!