No dancing--ideas for reception?

myerstobe2012

My parents didn't allow my sister to have dancing at her wedding so to be fair they aren't allowing me to have dancing either.  It's a complete let down...really bummed that I won't be able to share a first dance with my husband :-(  Any ideas on what you could do at the reception to make it fun and not completely boring?

artbyallie

Stage is wise. Listen to her.

orangecrush32

That is the most riiculous thing I have ever heard. Why wouldn't they allow dancing? It's your day. You can dance with your husband if you want. And if this is something your parents won't budge on do like Stage said and pay for it yourself.

kmd0501

Well...whats the reason for no dancing?  Is it a religious or cultural thing...because I could understand respecting that.  But if its just over-controlling parents, I agree with PP.  You dont want to look back on your wedding and be upset that it wasnt what YOU always wanted.  And its not really your fault your sister didnt speak up and voice her wants.  Dont let that ruin your day.  Its a celebration of your new life together..on your own!!!!  And if your parents frown upon dancing, that seems like the perfect way to celebrate your freedom.  I've really never heard of parents that forbid dancing...were you allowed to go to prom or anything like that?  I really feel terrible...but pay for it yourself and dance til your feet fall off!

Summer2011Bride

I agree with Stage. Pay for it yourself and do it your way. If YOU were personally against dancing, fine. I can see not having it. But you obviously want it. Your parents will get over it, even if they are intially mad. If you are paying for it, they really have no say, and this is a pretty big deal (it's not like they're against your cocktail napkin colors for example). I think you might regret it if you shut your mouth and let them have their way.

aerinpegadrak

We didn't have dancing, because we're not big dancers and the venue wasn't really set up for it.  We didn't replace it with anything, just planned a shorter reception.

But if you're old enough to be getting married, you're old enough to stand up to your parents, even if that means declining their money and paying for your party yourself.  My parents DID pay for a good chunk of my wedding, but they didn't allow or disallow a damn thing, because I'm an adult.  They stopped being able to forbid me to do things when I moved out.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dancing-ideas-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2a965dad-bc99-436d-b1bb-a2ca309a693bPost:6ae00415-ad1c-4067-8a72-728d59f9624e">No dancing--ideas for reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]My parents didn't allow my sister to have dancing at her wedding so to be fair they aren't allowing me to have dancing either.  It's a complete let down...really bummed that I won't be able to share a first dance with my husband :-(  Any ideas on what you could do at the reception to make it fun and not completely boring?
Posted by myerstobe2012[/QUOTE]

trix1223

Wow.  If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to tell your parents "Mom and Dad, I understand that you don't want dancing, but FI and I do.  We hope you'll come to a place of understanding and support, because we ARE going to have the reception we want."

If they pull the $$ card out, then thank them for their generous offer to pay, but you're going to decline and pay for your own ceremony.

Seriously:  your parents won't LET you?  I have three adult children.  Once they became adults and were on their own, DH and I stopped interfering in their lives.

Ashtey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dancing-ideas-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:2a965dad-bc99-436d-b1bb-a2ca309a693bPost:c3decf12-10e1-4cdc-b8d2-71f30658ef25">Re: No dancing--ideas for reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.  If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to tell your parents "<strong>Mom and Dad, I understand that you don't want dancing, but FI and I do.  We hope you'll come to a place of understanding and support, because we ARE going to have the reception we want."</strong> If they pull the $$ card out, then thank them for their generous offer to pay, but you're going to decline and pay for your own ceremony. Seriously:  your parents won't LET you?  I have three adult children.  Once they became adults and were on their own, DH and I stopped interfering in their lives.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

Nicely put Trix!

I think the main idea here is to discuss this more with your parents.  Just make sure you don't whine and don't throw bridezilla tantrums ... because this will just make your parents see you as a child... adults don't throw tantrums when they don't get their way, so if you want your parents to treat you like an adult, you need to act like one.  Just be reasonable when you discuss your points of view, good luck!

As for my FI and I, we don't like to dance.  We'll still have a dance floor for people who want to dance... but for us the reception will mostly be a time for mingling/wining/dining.  However I was thinking about maybe setting up lawn games (our reception is at a park).  It would be so cool to have photos of us playing croquet in our wedding garb, haha. 

Some other fun ideas I've heard of are a Wii and/or Rock Band station, Ping Pong table, Poker tables, or just a deck of cards and/or board games at each table, photobooths, etc.  Traditionally weddings have always been associated with dancing, but it doesn't have to be.  It is a party to celebrate your new marriage... so however you and your guests want to celebrate... so be it!  Dancing or no dancing.  Do whatever your crowd considers fun.  :o) 

stephasuasu

I am almost hoping this is a fake post, since the request by your parents is so ridiculous! Funny to ready though....

HopeLovesTravis

Wow- I don't like how everyone's talking to you!  I don't think any of us can understand the nuances of your relationship with your parents.  Therefore, I think we shouldn't be berating you or implying you are a big wimp and need to grow some guts.  Anyway, that being written, I have a similar situation to you.  Well, regarding the dancing at least.  We are interested in dancing too, but my fiance is a little person- he's three feet tall- and in a motorized wheel chair.  I don't have a great idea about the dancing but honestly have always looked forward to that part of the reception.  I am hoping to have some type of dancing like maneuvers around a floor.  For you- are you looking for a time filler?  Or a way to incorporate your favorite music into the reception sans dancing?  BTW- i agree that it should all be up to you ideally, but that's not always reality.  Good luck!

iver4156

I'm sorry, but I'm having some Footloose flashbacks here.

No dancing at a wedding? What kind of crap is that? What are you supposed to entertain your guests with, a magician?! Honestly, I'd tell you parents to get bent and tell them that you really want dancing and music. If you can't stand up to your parents then you're clearly not old enough to be getting married.

RebeccaB88

OP might be talking about a similar situation I'm in.  My parents paid for my sister's wedding, but told them that their budget did not include anything for dancing (dance floor, dj, band, sound system, etc).  If Sis and BIL wanted it, it was on them to cover it.  They elected to not have dancing, which is fine, and it was a nice wedding.  The same budget goes for me as well.  If FI decide we want to dance (jury is still way out on that one), then it's our responsibility to cover it.  I think that's fair.

If they forbid it for religious or cultural reasons, then I would think those would have to be respected. But if it's something you really really can't live without, and they won't budge, then I think you're going to have to cover the entire party yourselves.  You can certainly say 'this is what we want', but they can certainly say they won't pay for it either.  It's up to you to decide how big a deal this really is.

NOLAbridealmost

If they forbid it for religious or cultural reasons, then I would think those would have to be respected. 

Respected, maybe. Obeyed? No. 

palegirl146

Thank you HopeLovesTravis.  I don't think myerstobe was looking for all the crazy brides to attack her either.  I think the best thing for you to do is think about things that you and your FI like that your guests would like as well.  If you like trivia, you could host trivia, and each table could be a team.  You could do 15 questions about random wedding tradition trivia, and 15 questions about yourself.  If you want to do a prize, you could, but I'm not a fan of prizes and giveaways at weddings.  If you really like to watch sports, you could have your wedding the same time as a big game that you are fans of and have the game played on a big screen (if you and your FI like opposing teams you could even decorate tables for the different teams and put your friends/family at your team's and his friends/family at his team's tables.  Your favors could be noisemakers and you could really encourage your friends to cheer for your team).  If you really like gambling, you could host a casino party with fake money.  Think about what you like and what you like to do, and then turn that into a party.  I'm sure you can come up with some good ideas and you'll surprise your guests when they get to have a fun experience that they weren't expecting.  Of course, if you really want a traditional wedding with dancing, no alternative party will really fill that desire to dance.  Good luck and let us know what you decide to do!

myerstobe2012

Thanks HopeLovesTravis and palegirl146!  I deffinately wasn't looking for people to respond that way to my post.  It isn't a cultural thing at all, my dad just doesn't like dancing.  It's more out of respect for them and my sister (since she feels like her wedding sucked because of the no dancing thing) that I wouldn't have it.  It's really dumb that people think that I'm not old enough to get married because of the situation since I'm 25 years old lol.  I'm not going to be a brat and demand things either cause that would not be the mature thing to do.  Me and my fiance are considering paying for everything by ourselves but that means a lot of sacrifices in other places so I have to figure out which means more.  I like the idea of the sport thing.....we're both big sports fans!  That was exactly what I needed....just an idea to branch out with. 

sbrouse

I am in the same situation but a little different. I come from a very religious family but my parents are ok with the dancing. But many of our guest will be church members and older people who are possibly against dancing. We were thinking of dancing but now that we have considered our guest we have opted out of dancing. The only thing is that we really wanted to do our first dance so we might just let everyone know that we will be doing a first dance and we are sorry if we offend anybody. that way they know ahead of time and if it really bothers them then they can arrive late or decide not to come to the reception. I really hope we don't have any problems with it. I'm worried about his family throwing a fit when they find out. They are not religious so im worried that they will expect dancing. I think to solve this problem we might have a voluntary cornhole tournament. His family is really into that and if we do something like that it might distract from the no dancing. if your reception is more fancy and traditional then that might not be a good idea but im from a small country town and my wedding is going to be less formal anyway so I think it will work for me. Also you could have them play I Spy with cameras. Put throwaway cameras at each table with a card that has a list of things to find and take pictures of. then collect the cameras when they are full and you have your wedding pictures from your guests' perspective. I also like the trivia idea. you could also do the trivia but instead of wedding trivia you could have trivia about the two of you. think of things almost nobody would know about the two of you and see who guesses right. I hope this helps you a little.