Small Wedding/Reception

schimma23

I am going back and forth with this. My Fiance and I want a small, intimate outdoor wedding with just our immediate family. I want to invite our close friends for just the reception and have hourderves (I dont think I spelled that right!), drinks and music. Is this rude to only invite them to the reception and not the wedding? Thanks.

tracy_k

As a guest, I would feel slighted if I was not invited to the ceremony. The point of a reception is to thank your guests for lending their support to your marriage by witnessing your marriage ceremony. You can still have a small, intimate wedding, just invite your family and closest friends to all the parts.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_small-weddingreception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2b857c48-6cc4-407b-abdf-101395b4cfebPost:ff4ec6be-cb50-42d1-a2e3-eb934d83993f">Small Wedding/Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I am going back and forth with this. My Fiance and I want a small, intimate outdoor wedding with just our immediate family. I want to invite our close friends for just the reception and have hourderves (I dont think I spelled that right!), drinks and music. Is this rude to only invite them to the reception and not the wedding? Thanks.
Posted by schimma23[/QUOTE]

How many people are immediate family?
How many people are close friends?

MarcoPoloBeachResort

I don't think that is a problem. I've hosted many intimate affairs. If they are genuinely your friends they will understand. Good luck and best wishes to you both!

aerinpegadrak

I think it depends on margins.  If it would be 20 people at the ceremony and 100 at the reception, I don't think people would really mind.  If it would be 50 at the ceremony and 75 at the reception, then you're going to have some hurt feelings from those who didn't make the cut.

CA2MT4EveR

The ceremony is the cheap part, why would you leave people out of it?

mmenillo

I was invited to just a reception last summer because the ceremony was for close family. I was fine with it. Although I think a lot of that had to do with the long ceremony customs as it was a Muslim wedding. I guess they had events going all day, so a lot of their friends were just invited to the reception.

MyNameIsNot

It depends.  If you are talking about 10 at the ceremony and 100 at the reception, it's fine.  If you are talking about 25 at the ceremony and 50 at the reception, it's rude.  

Even if it is the first, be prepared for some people to get pissy about it.  The ceremony is the important part, and some people will feel slighted to not be invited to that, regardless.  

aerinpegadrak

Another possible compromise for you might be webcasting: we're having a family only destination wedding but inviting everyone to view it online.  That way we still get the intimate feel we want, but everyone gets to watch.  Then we're inviting everyone to a reception when we get back.

schimma23

Thanks for all of the input! The ratio to people at the ceremony to people at the reception would be 12(Family)/50(Close Friends). I just don't want the day to be stressful and I thought that a real intimate wedding would help with that and then after the ceremony we can party with all of our friends.

Mrs.B6302007

Honestly, 12 vs 50 doesn't seem to be a big enough of a difference to justify the intimacy.  If I were in your pretty bridal shoes, I'd include all 50 for everything so as not to risk pissing off my close friends.  The ceremony is the easy part; the reception is the part that requires the most planning and money so if all 50 are going to be at the reception, might as well include them in the ceremony, too.

Goldlie11

Reminds me of this:

http://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/real-weddings-jennifer-scotts-glass-studio-wedding-reception/

aerinpegadrak

62 is still pretty intimate.  Ditto Mrs. B, the reception is the hard part.  If you're worried about it being a stressful day, look into getting a DOC, they do wonders.

flutgrl1

I have never understood why so many people have to be at the ceremony. Getting married to me is a private affair between two people and their families.

I think having a large party to celebrate with friends as well is an awesome idea.

kristim4

True friends will understand. This is my problem too. So, my fiance and I decided in order for all our family and fiends to share in our ceremony and reception we are paying a small fee to a Judge to come marry us ain our home. Our reception will also be held in our home. Deli platters bought from our local grocer and a 1/2 sheet cake from our local grocer as well ($165.00). Our home stereo system will provide free musical entertainment. Where there is a will there is a way!