MOH wants to change dress color

hellosunshine12

I had planned to have the girls in red dresses, my colors are red & ivory, but she just brought up that she thinks black dresses would be better for an evening wedding, they are more formal & evening weddings are generally formal...I guess that I wasn't aware of this...I guess that it's not a huge deal to add black in the color scheme, but my overlays on the tables are going to be red, red accents on the cake..which I guess we could add black as well? I guess I just feel a little thrown off by this..would you change your colors to please your MOH or insist on your original idea...this is like the first input on anything related to the wedding so far

Lisariqua

I wouldn't change my colors to please anyone. But that's me.....

Course it could be easy for me to say since I don't have a wedding party but my mom tried to change my wedding colors and I fought her every step of the way. My wedding, my party, I'm the one writing out the check at the end of the day....I say what goes.

Madisonpenny

I think you should inform your friend that the color doesn't dictate the formality of a dress, it's usually the style of it. For example.... I would say an Evening gown  would be much more formal than a sun dress.  Also, it's not always the time of day that dictates how formal an event is, it's the hosts.

If you don't mind granting her wish of wanting to change dress colors you could have all your BMs wear red but put your MOH in an ivory dress, but then that may be too close to white.  Thats your call.

BeachLover2885

Ditto PP --- it's not the color it's really the style of the dress.  For example, I recently attended a black tie wedding and the BMs weren't even in black; they wore navy.  Plus, I think you should stick to red since it's your wedding, and that's the color you chose  I think for a summer evening wedding, I would personally choose red over black anyway.  

littlemoments324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moh-wants-change-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:62c159bf-d9a9-4877-8b5b-bf3e5d1bc672Post:b1d0b5db-e15c-408c-9333-2aa54091aa3f">Re: MOH wants to change dress color</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think you should inform your friend that the color doesn't dictate the formality of a dress, it's usually the style of it.</strong> For example.... I would say an Evening gown  would be much more formal than a sun dress.  Also, it's not always the time of day that dictates how formal an event is, it's the hosts. If you don't mind granting her wish of wanting to change dress colors you could have all your BMs wear red but put your MOH in an ivory dress, but then that may be too close to white.  Thats your call.
Posted by Madisonpenny[/QUOTE]

Exactly this....Don't change your colors to please your MOH...it is your wedding not hers.  You do what you want and how you want to do it...There is nothing that says the color of the dress dictates the formality of the wedding.  TEAM RED!! haha

Nati05

Hmmm seems to be like she's got some other reason to request black and is using the formality thing as an excuse. Does she not like the dress that's been picked out? Or maybe she doesn't like the color on her? Of course that might not be the case, but definitely talk to her and see if maybe there's a real reason she wants to change colors.

And I agree with Madison, the dress style is what makes it formal. If you really don't want to change colors, don't. Offer to help your friend find a formal dress in a shade of red that suits her and both of you like. Because it also sounds like there aren't any dresses yet right? Let her try some on first before she wants to start changing colors lol and see what happens. If she doesn't like any shade of red in the end, she could try the ivory. OR if it doesn't bother you as the MOH she could wear a black dress with a red sash or something, she would look rather silly.... but leave your colors as they are. Unless you don't mind adding a few black accents. But you're definitely not required to.. helping your BMs find colors they're comfortable in is one thing. Your BMs asking you to change your colors is something completely different.

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moh-wants-change-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:62c159bf-d9a9-4877-8b5b-bf3e5d1bc672Post:58dbdc63-8b69-40b9-9b93-a23a3f063742">Re: MOH wants to change dress color</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH wants to change dress color : Exactly this....<strong>Don't change your colors to please your MOH...it is your wedding not hers.  You do what you want and how you want to do it...There is nothing that says the color of the dress dictates the formality of the wedding.  TEAM RED!! haha
</strong>Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. It is your wedding and your vision don't change it just to please someone else.

michelle11988

I agree that you shouldn't try and please your bridal party with colors.  If she really doesn't want to wear red for some reason can she just wear a black dress?  My MOH is wearing a different color then the other girls because I wanted her to stand out and there was no dress that would coordinate that wasn't overly heavy.  I also think the style dictates how formal the wedding is and not necessarily the color.

Rebis58

I think that black dresses would match nicely with your colour scheme, and I don't think you will have to add black accents to the decor. If it was me, it would depend on the way my MOH approached it. I'm pretty flexible and laid back about my wedding, so if my girls wanted to wear black dresses I would probably accommodate that (although my girls are super laid back too, so I doubt they would ask me to change the colour of the dresses). 

All that being said, I agree with PPs that dress colour does not dictate formality, and if you want red dresses, keep the colour you had planned. You might want to ask your MOH if she has any specific concerns about the dress other than colour, just to make sure she doesn't have any valid complaints (such as it's too revealing, too expensive, etc.)

hellosunshine12

Honestly I am kind of just leaning toward letting her wear a black dress, she wants black w/ a red sash  & red shoes..I haven't talked to the other girls yet to find out how they feel, but she is the one who chose the dress & it does come in both colors..so we'll see...I kind of felt like the formal thing was her way of saying that she wants to wear black..our venue is a castle & we are also using black iron peices in our decor, so I think it will be fine..I think I was just a little surprised by it..it's not like it's some awful color or even a complete change so I guess we'll just go w/ it

mandctaft

Don't change the color. I HATE to wear the color. I have freckles and red in my hair and everything looks weird. But anyway, my sister and my MOH made me wear a red dress for their weddings and I sucked it up because its THEIR wedding. Don't change your color, just because someone doesn't like it. I complained, but it was all in good fun

Rebis58

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moh-wants-change-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:62c159bf-d9a9-4877-8b5b-bf3e5d1bc672Post:74a484f0-d0c7-4c4f-8fb0-ece36cc15cd6">Re: MOH wants to change dress color</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I am kind of just leaning toward letting her wear a black dress, she wants black w/ a red sash  & red shoes..I haven't talked to the other girls yet to find out how they feel, but she is the one who chose the dress & it does come in both colors..so we'll see...I kind of felt like the formal thing was her way of saying that she wants to wear black..our venue is a castle & we are also using black iron peices in our decor, so I think it will be fine..I think I was just a little surprised by it..it's not like it's some awful color or even a complete change so I guess we'll just go w/ it :)
Posted by hellosunshine12[/QUOTE]

<div>I think this is a good attitude, although I do think you would have been 100% justified to say "thanks for the suggestion, I want to stick with red dresses." Honestly, if it doesn't make a huge difference to you (and if your MOH isn't making a habit of trying to dictate other decisions), you might as well let her pick the dress that she really likes. Especially since it's already part of the colour scheme.</div>

littlemoments324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moh-wants-change-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:62c159bf-d9a9-4877-8b5b-bf3e5d1bc672Post:9ceef515-9214-4f74-a844-b6cc6b311ef8">Re: MOH wants to change dress color</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH wants to change dress color : I think this is a good attitude, <strong>although I do think you would have been 100% justified to say "thanks for the suggestion, I want to stick with red dresses." Honestly, if it doesn't make a huge difference to you (and if your MOH isn't making a habit of trying to dictate other decisions)</strong>, you might as well let her pick the dress that she really likes. Especially since it's already part of the colour scheme.
Posted by Rebis58[/QUOTE]

this exactly!

mekiakoo

If I were you, I'd just stick with the colors I picked. It also depends on how your MOH approached you though, but I just think it's not her position to decide what color for you to pick.

FWIW, we are having an evening wedding (6 PM) and our colors are white and red. Not having black at all (except for men's tuxes obviously).

But your MOH could add a black sash on her dress or something if you guys are planning on having her stand out.

NIKKIANDTYE

Me i would tell her thank you for your suggestion, but you planned your wedding around what you wanted and what makes you happy. I wouldn't change a thing because its a day for you to be happy not a day for you to please other ppl.

LADY324

I would not change the colors.