Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

To JOP or not to JOP, that is the quesetion.

We're getting married 10/2010.  The hall, photographer, dj and florist are all booked.  The dress has been ordered and the wedding party decided.  Around the 4th of July I found out that my work will be closing and before the end of this year I will be out of a job.We're  not religious or anything like that, but believe in everything marriage stands for - love, respect, family.  We both want a wedding.  The ceremony to exchange our vows in the company of our loived ones and then a big party!Now that I'm about to lose my health insurance we have been talking about doing the JOP thing so I can get on his plan at work.  The logical side of me says do it.  Its really only taking care of the legal part of it anyway right?  Still I worry that it will lesson the moment if we are already married a year before the actual wedding.I know there is going to be opinions all across the spectrum on this one but I still would like to hear what others think.  Perhaps you can offer insight that would help put this into perspective for me.

Re: To JOP or not to JOP, that is the quesetion.

  • edited December 2011
    Friends of mine did the same thing.. they actually kept it a secret, only close family knew, so that the day of the wedding it was just as special for everyone because it wasnt really made known that they were already technically married. They keep their public wedding date as the anniversary date they celebrate as well. They said it was still special even though they were already married though because everyone was there. The one problem they did run into though is that the priest refused to call it a wedding ceremony, and kept referring to it as a renewal of vows.. which when he said that at the ceremony, it kind of let everyone know that they were already technically married - oooops.
  • edited December 2011
    I find that this is more common. I would say go for it! And you can either keep it secret or just tell your parents, etc. On your 2010 wedding date, just renew your vows. It definitely will still be special.
  • edited December 2011
    I would check about domestic partnership on his health careplan.I went on my DH health care plan before we were married because my work changed the health care plan at work and it was more cost effective for me to join his health care plan.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP--my FI is on my health insurance as my domestic partner.  Many insurance plans have that option now.  If they don't, I see nothing wrong with your plan--it's practical and you will still have your dream wedding.  But you might find a job before your work closes and not have to worry about it.  Also, some places, like Starbucks, offer insurance to all workers, even part time.  Good luck!
  • ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Cleaver - Sovereign Bank also offers pretty good benefits the day you start working! From what I remember they pay for you as well. As does chic fi le (so I have heard)
  • edited December 2011
    If it comes down to it I do not judge at all. You need health insurance. I witnessed a civil/ JOP wedding here a few weeks ago for a girl I met on Americans in the UK message board. They are having a wedding in 2011, but she was not able to get any other type of visa so they got married early. It's fairly common on the International Newlyweds board as well. Look at Lowes as well for a job, they offer insurance.
  • edited December 2011
    Do they offer a COBRA continuation package?  With the new ARRA legislation, the cost of continuing your healthcare is not as much as it used to be.  Not sure if that will still apply for a company that is going under, but it doesn't hurt to check it out.
  • laurak43laurak43 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did already look into if I could be covered by FIs plan before we're married and we can't.  COBRA is an option but doesn't that run out at some point?  We have over a year to go before the wedding.  I suggested to FI the other night that we do the JOP on the same date this year as the wedding is planned next year so there is no question as to our "anniversary".  I think we're going to go ahead with it and only tell our parents.  We've been living together for 2 years and are practically married already.  We both see the wedding more as a chance to celebrate our love and family with those closest to us (not to mention I really want to wear a wedding dress once in my life!!) so I don't think the JOP marriage will take away form the day at all.thanks for all your feedback!
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