Hi everyone,
My fiance and I are in the process of planning our wedding which will hopefully be next Summer.
We are just about to confirm on a simply *stunning* country house which is near to my parents' house, and which is the epitomy of elegance and beauty with fantastic staff. However, I am feeling a little unsettled about taking this place, mainly because I am worried about how formal/structured a place like that naturally is (for example, having a strict timetable, formal sit down meal indoors with speeches, etc etc) when I think I have always thought about more of an informal wedding.
The trouble is, on Saturday this week, I voiced this opinion and we started to look at alternatives - the main one being that we get married in a nice venue for the ceremony only, and then go back to my parents' farm, where we have giant tipis or a marquee for a more relaxed, outdoorsy reception. This suited me quite well, but then we ran into a whole host of problems, which made me think maybe it will just be easier in the long run to go to this country house venue, where I know it will be relatively plain sailing from now until the wedding because they've done it hundreds of times and all the structure is already there.
I guess the main pros and cons for me are as follows:
Country House - Pros
- Beautiful location, stunning photos in the grounds and tumble down old chapel, near to parents' house
- Team of staff that are lovely and have done it a thousand times before - our planning time between now and the wedding will be spent doing the 'fun stuff' like dress hunting, flowers etc, and more tedious stuff like chairs and napkins will already be taken care of
- We can get married outside in a pagoda, which I've always wanted to do
- Has all the set up of a hotel, so the wedding party can arrive the night before, have a rehearsal and dinner altogether, have the recemony and reception in the same place, so no travel costs to worry about, and then we can enjoy a nice brunch the day after together etc
- There are very good options if the weather isn't great for ceremony and reception
- We already have a Saturday in July reserved
Country House - Cons
- I am a bit worried about the formality of the occasion, and the lack of being able to personalise it very much when most things seem to be a bit 'set in stone'
- Will we just be another wedding on the 'production line' rather than something personal to us?
- It's a fair bit more expensive - they don't do corkage and the cheapest bottle of wine is £25!
- We won't have exclusive use of the hotel, so there will be other people around that we don't know, and some areas where guests can't enter etc
Ceremony Venue + Home Reception - Pros
- We can have EXACTLY what we want and total control over look, feel, decorations, food, drink etc. which will make it feel more personal
- It will be our own space, so can do what we like, have the band play as late as we like, won't have other people there
- Will be more informal than the country house, and dancing the night away under canvas seems quite magical and lovely to me!
Ceremony Venue + Home Reception - Cons
- There is a LOT more organisation needed between now and then
- I know my parents will find it stressful because they'll panic about the house looking nice, grass being cut etc
- Won't be quite as special the night before, morning before etc as I will be in my own house - also, we'll have to consider going to a hotel for our wedding night, as I don't really fancy having it in my childhood bedroom!
- We are effectively going back to square one in terms of confirming arrangements etc
- most of the local venues around us won't do 'just the ceremony' because they can make more money having a full afternoon reception on the same day
- Most dates for Saturdays are now booked up for next Summer, so we'd need to move to a Fri or Sun, which aren't ideal
- It might rain!!!
What do you think? Does anyone else have any experience of this? It's like my head says - just go for this country hotel, but in my heart there is a little warning... and I think that perhaps it's unwise to ignore this warning. The trouble is, we only have a week or so before the hotel releases our date unless we confirm so things are getting a little frazzled. I already feel massively stressed as everyone else is looking to me to make the final decision, and there are so many pros and cons for each option.
I guess the solution may be to enquire about other venues that offer some management and facilities, but which allow more flexibility to do our own thing. Or is it just that I have to temper my dreams about getting married to what's actually practical?!
Any advice very gratefully received...
Thanks xx