Help.....I need your opinions!!!

rebeccalayne

There is a reason I am posting this here and not on the cultural wedding board because I want to know what you all think, which is exactly what the guests on my side are going to be thinking.

I am American and my FI is Mexican so our reception is a mix of both cultures. Most things are pretty similar i.e. throwing the bouquet/garter, first dance, and so on. The one thing that they do that we do not is they have what are called "Padrinos and Madrinas" which is where family and friends of the bride and groom give money to help with the wedding. Basically someone will say I want to give you X amount of money to help you buy your wedding cake or whatever they want to help out with. So then at the reception they have a dance where the DJ calls up the people who helped one by one along with their significant other to dance with the bride and groom.

So my question is, if you were at my reception what would you be thinking while this is going on? Should I include something on every table with background information about what it is? I feel like they will be sitting there thinking "why am I not involved in this?" but I don't know how to involve them. Also not having it at all would be rude. It would be like not sending out Thank You notes

rebeccalayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_helpi-need-your-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:3f960cb9-bf5e-4800-8bf4-c3eda603ec30Post:521ab5b9-33bc-4075-b6a9-a3fc6c8feba7">Re: Help.....I need your opinions!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is best to limit spotlight dances. The reception is a thank you to the guests, and when guests are asked to stop having fun to sit and watch a spotlight dance, well, they are sitting and getting bored. Watching other people dance isn't fun, unless you're at the ballet or watching the Rockettes, you know what I mean? So, coming from that, I think a series of thank you dances would be a major buzzkill for the guests. Can you thank people for their offers to help with wedding expenses, and then decline the offer? If you pay for your own cake, you don't need a spotlight dance to thank anyone for cake.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes I understand exactly what you are saying. Trying to have a reception and keep both cultures in mind is really stressful! We are even thinking of having a seperate party where we can have the kind of party his side is used to without making my side feel secluded. Our Wedding is at 1 and the reception from 2-5 so having something following that is even an option because his side is used to a party with a lot of dancing and alcohol(which will not be at the reception) that goes until about 11-midnight. So I am thinking about saying that we will be having a Mexican fiesta following the reception and open it to everyone that way if anyone from my side wants to come they are welcome but they know its going to be more geared towards his family</div>

KatWAG

I would be super bored. But I get bored during Bride/dad and groom/ mom dances. Would the bar be open at this mingle? Could people mingle? Or would everyone be sitting at their table waiting for it to end to get the party started?

CallaLily25

I think the Mexican fiesta idea is a great solution. That way, it's like having an optional after party where everyone is welcome to attend, but not obligated to if they don't feel like it.

rebeccalayne

Thanks everyone! 

Peavy

Just do one party.  Having two different parties creates seperation while what you're really trying to do is create unity.

True, spotlight dances are not the most interesting for the guests, but you can choose to do a shorter song, or find another way to shorten the time.  Since this is important to your FI and his family, I think you need to honor it at the (one) reception.  I have been to plenty of weddings of various cultures that are different from mine, and no one felt the need to explain the traditions to me.  As a guest, I might have been puzzled, but I also found it interesting to see what other cultures do to celebrate weddings.  It's five minutes at most out of the evening, people will deal with it.

If you're really worried about what your family might think -- and I personally think that is unfounded -- you might let your family know by word of mouth what will be going on, but I think that having an official explanation or something on the table would be weird.

ETA:  Since this is an important tradition in FI's family, I don't think they'd appreciate this custom being relagated to the after party.

UniqueNuptial

you definitely need to have the dances, that is not even a question. So, I think the question is how to include people so they don't feel bored.  

Well, if you are allowed to pick your own music then why not pick something where the guests could participate in by either clapping or better yet, you could pass out Maracas and have them shake, shake shake!

This could lead straight into Party Time!   I would definitely dig that.